Colonix. Turn back now or forever hold your peace.

I
I am the weirdest pooper ever! I can only go in places where I am completely comfortable. My house, my work, etc. I can't poo at FI's parents' house. Even if I have to go I to hold it! I can't poo around FI. He laughs at my "ceremony". He always knows when I go because he had figured out my routine. I lock the door, light candles, spray the febreeze... I 6.5 years, I've only farted in front of him 3 times. Once I was sleeping, once I was drunk, and once it just slipped out. And I wonder why my tummy is all jacked up!

haha. I can count poos if everyone wants. Oh that's just ridiculously funny.

wow what a thread.

i would love to do this but unfortunately wedding $ is keeping me out of all the extra-curricular activities for a while. no poop-club, no secret-of the month club, no book club boo. i bet i can get doug to do it with me later tho, even tho he thinks girls dont poop i bet he would be interested in getting cleansed out!

oh also, for my poop story, a few years ago i had to have a minor surgery on my, um, pooper hole? gross, still embarrasing, anyways, it turns out that some peoples (gosh this is hard to put into delicate terms!) pooper holes, um, wear out? like the band that normally keeps your stuff clenched up into you snaps? that doesn't make a lot of sense, sorry but i forget all the technical terms of it and what it's actually called. but anyways, i started having all this blood when i went and i got really scared, i knew it had to be more than hemmorhoids, and went to the doctor. this was early on in doug and my relationship, how embarrasing! so i had to have some stitches to fix the, um, clencher?

ANYWAYS, the doc told me to start taking Benefiber (completely taste-free and very easy to mix in juice, water, yogurt, cereal, whatever) to make my poops softer and more shiny (wait oops, thats conditioner! ) to make them fluffier so it wouldn't tear me coming out. it really helped! and once my body got used to it, after a few days, i didnt have uh-oh moments and felt less bloated. i have been thinking about doing some sort of colinix thing, but like i said it'll have to wait till after the wedding. just thought i'd add another poop story to help make everyone feel more comfortable

SO are we going to have a poo tally under our tickers?

Are you going to keep stats like in 30 days with 30 members, The Poo Club has had 236,478,541 "movements"?

South Park's Mr. Hankey can be our mascot:


Actually this is a toy- I'm off to find one! This can be the trophy for the poo champion.