Breathe Sarah Breathe!

Yikes! That sucks. But I agree, if it's not out of her pocket...and you're not asking her for money to supplement other things 'cause you spent yours on this etc...I don't see where this is her decision.

I say either your FI can talk to her if you want it hashed out ahead of time...or you go with the "it's easier to ask forgivness then permission" route and just do it. She can't very well disown your for having effing candy at YOUR ahr! ;-)

Sorry I should have emphasized his parents are giving us $5000 for the wedding and we can use it how we want....

plus WE ARE PAYING FOR THE CANDY!!!!

Also I wrote her an email earlier today telling her when it gets over 5000 we will pay for everything else!

I just called my FI and he is speaking with her.

Were those emails rude or was it just me?

ok, i am late to this thread but i just read through it all. Sarah - you have to stop apologizing to her and giving her power over you and your decisions - it will only get worse when you get married and have children. believe me, you will not want your MIL buzzing around telling you how to live in 2 years!!

as the candy bar, i love what Maura wrote and i am glad you sent it. her last response back to you was really authoritative and out of line. you WERE NOT asking her permission.

i am confused though about the $$$ - did they give you $$$ to buy stuff? or are you and Kevin paying for the candy yourselves?

yeah, if they gave you the money, then it's yours to spend however you'd like...even if it's on bagel bites and moutain dew! loL! and of course you'll be responsible if you go over budget! You guys are adults! I think she's not giving you enough credit.

Kevin and I bought the candy on our own. Thats why im so confused, there isnt a dime coming out of her pocket for that.

Its Not Just You!! Very Rude Tone!!

Sounds very "mommy" to me too. My mom likes to try to "mom" me all the time but I always have to remind her that I'm responsible now.

Anyways, my parents also gave us $$$ to use on the wedding however we see fit. I didn't have to justify one thing to them. We paid for whatever we needed that went over budget. Basically, it ended up being my parents paying for half of everything.

I think your FMIL is overstepping some boundaries. IF they gave you the money, then great. She shouldn't say you can use it how you want, then turn around and make stipulations for how you are spending it. That's something I would clear up really quick.

She gave you the money for your reception..... she needs to cut the money string

This just sucks really bad becuase we have an amazing relationship and she has never been like this towards me.