Confessions

Confessions..... hmmmm....

 

1) I want to move to a land far, far away --- some place where it's too expensive for my in-law's to call us. I'm tired of the 4-5 phone calls every night from his siblings, and the sister who treats FI like he's her personal "bitch." They call it being "close".... I call it "co-dependent"....

 

2) I hate more than anything---- living south of the manson-nixon line (oops! I mean mason-dixon!) ha! Now I understand why Dallas has such a high rate of violence per capita---- I'd be violent too if I'd been brainwashed my entire life into thinking "America" exists only between the Hill Country and the border. (no offense to the handful of sincerely nice people I've found on here who live in this area---)

 

3) I love my fiancee's equally warped sense of humor and the world. Leave to him to put PMS into perspective: "If I bled for a week for no reason, I'd be pissed the entire time too...."

 

4) Now for the real confession: I seriously want to "out" the religious hypocrite ass-wipe douchebag father of my daughter after he beat her, kicked her out, treated her like a disposable diaper for so long, while maintaining the "holier than thou" attitude to all his fellow professors at the seminary. Fucker- your day will come. And that bi-polar psychotic freak he married--- yea, she's on my shitlist too and is next on the list.... Cunt.

ok....my turn.

 

I confess:

 

I HATE my fiancees dad, cause he is such an army-loving they can do No wrong, guns can solve ALL your problems, racist homophobic knnow it ALL who MUCT have ALL the attention or else he pouts! I don't want to change my last name to my FI, because I associate it with this man! He is the exact opposite of me, and whenever he sees me, tells me about this horse/cat/insert other living creature he recently killed. And how the only good people are the white people!

 

Also, i am glad my eldest sisters aren't coming to the wedding, cause in my mind, they are the epitamy of white trash, complete with narrow minded views and mustard stains on their shirts!

 

I also confess....that I think I am getting cold feet. I love my FI a LOT...but some days, i really don't like him very much! lol. And then other days, i can't wait to be married to him!

 

I confess that my FI and I met online...and NONE of our family or friends know. In fact, we tell everyone we met in a bookstore. (its where we physically "met")

 

ok...now i am feeling like a bad person. I take it all back! I love everything about everything!!

Melissa....i was on anti-depressants for like 3 years....when i was weaned off them...i was scaried to do any of the old things i did. For fear i would become "depressed" again.

Depression is like a battle. A constant battle. And, i think its something you have to fight with everyday. BUT, the good news is...you will nbever get that bad again. Cause, you now know what it feels like...so you will know when you are slipping back into that state of mind.

 

I know for myself, it took me a year to even realize i WAS depressed. I thought i was just sad....and wanted to just lie on my couch and do nothing. It took me a while to recognize it. And, i fight with that fear everyday of becoming depressed again. But, i also know its NOT a weakness...and you can't just "get over it." you just fight the battle and try to win the war.

My confession is:

 

I absolutely and categorically hate my inlaws lol if I had my way I'd not even invite the FMIL to the bloody wedding, she is about to marry a bloke she met 3 weeks after her husband died who is the laziest chav I have ever met in my life lol when I first met him he said I was a right gobby cow!! fair enough I can stand my ground but he had known me for about 10 mins how dare he. So I returned fire and he's never spoken to me since lmao He can't argue but I can I'm a lawyer I do it for a living so he didn't stand a bloody chance lol

 

We haven't told her yet because she is going to be a bloody nightmare when she finds out as she will have DEMANDS will she can ram them because I don't give a rats ass about what she bloody wants!. I've had to move my wedding because she thought we were going to get married where my dad lives and so announced she'd be there for a month!! FFS my dad would bray the crap out of her and the slob she is now married to and quite frankly my dad and dog are the love of my life I can take or leave anyone else lol

 

Once we are married the FI is going on tour and if she thinks she is ringing me every fecking day she can knick off. I'm screening all my calls. She is a total drama queen and everytime we go away there is a drama and he is needed at home! the last time I said right if you go don't come back she needs to grow some balls and not rely on her son! or any man FFS lol

 

Phew glad that rant is over, next one will be when he wants loads of pics with us in! over my dead body because it aint happening lol

I think I need to go back on anti-depressants. I'm starting to cave under the pressures of the wedding. I sincerely hope that our married life will be better than our lives have been since the wedding planning started. I used to take Paxil but I swear it made me crazier than I already was. No one told me you couldn't drink with the stuff! I still suffer black outs when I drink because of that! I apparently tried to swallow a whole bottle of Xanax after drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels one night. FI caught me in time. Because of this I am really scared to go back on them!

 

My best friend, who threw a hissy fit because I didn't ask her to be a BM, informed me last night that she doesn't think she can afford to come to the wedding! The money is due April 1st! WTF?!? Having a DW has really made me re-think who my true friends and family are.

 

I have planned this whole wedding by myself. Everyone wants to help but only on their terms! My feeling is if you haven't helped, don't bitch about my decisions!

Wow. I live further south than you and I am very happy to save that I have never experienced this.

I also LOVE Texas though....

Don't go back on the anti depressants! just get this phrase into your head and you will be fine (Dad's fav phrase when things get on top of me lol)

 

"DONT LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN!!!" and remember you will have the last laugh because all those that are being mean and controlling it will all come back round and bite them on the arse - guarantee it lol

i have to change my meds to maybe help with some of my raging OCD and anxiety! I guess Paxil is not the way to go, right?

Melissa, I know you posted this over a week ago but I just wanted to say you are not alone. I shared with you some time ago that I had been on Zoloft for several years for anxiety & depression. When I discovered I had other things going on (hypothyroid & hormonal imbalances) I came to learn that the anxiety/depression may have been part of that.

Blah, blah, blah...anyway, point is, I weaned off the Zoloft at the end of last year, maybe November? Then winter hit. A winter like I've never experienced right? Moving from California to Washington introduced me to a whole new winter experience. I didn't think anything of it. Well now I look back on the last 3 or 4 months and reflect on how I've been feeling, how my husband has been reacting to me, etc.....I just read your post & it made me realize - hey, maybe some of that stuff snuck back in? Maybe that's why things have been so hard? Hmmmm....

I guess it's just an ongoing battle. I share your pain & concerns.

My confession for the day: I am scared to death to finish school. We start rotations this May and graduate the May after. Don't get me wrong I am so excited to finish school... but the reality of real world is begining to freak me out. I sometimes feel like I havne't learned anything and am going to fail miserably. We just got our assignments for the next year and it made me almost sick to my stomach.