Off Your Chest

Dear Cable company, Please come fix our cable! I hate not having tv. i need to know the weather and the news. I realize that i can check these things on the internet but it is not the same. please come when you said you were going to so that my day was not wasted waiting for you. i realize that the weather sucks but try to get here. please have it fixed so FI can watch the superbowl.

P.S. Please don't charge us to fix it!

Dear Equity People on the other side of the room:

I love you guys and I know you appreciate that I go and get your lunch everyday - - BUT NO MORE!! Jim has ruined it for all of you. He's rude and all he thinks I am is HIS LUNCH BITCH! I hate him and I am no longer anyones lunch bitch.

Signed, the girl that will no longer get anyones lunch!

Dear DH~

Why were you driving me crazy last night and this morning? Don't you realize how much WORSE I could be? I'm pregnant, haven't really been that ornery, and don't ask that much of you. Please remember how you usually tell me that you have the coolest wife out of all of your friends, and APPRECIATE IT!!!!!!!

Signed,

The one who could be a lot worse!!!!!

Dear Equity People on the other side of the room:

I love you guys and I know you appreciate that I go and get your lunch

everyday - - BUT NO MORE!! Jim has ruined it for all of you. He's

rude and all he thinks I am is HIS LUNCH BITCH! I hate him and I am no

longer anyones lunch bitch.

Signed, the girl that will no longer get anyones lunch!

THE WAY YOU WROTE THIS IS HILARIOUS, YOU KNOW LONGER HAVE TO BE THE LUNCH BITCH....This made me spill my coffee this morning!

dear class

I CAN'T STAND YOU well most of you... You don't listen you cant follow directions yet you think you deserve a reward. F no. I am not your mother. I will give you the beating your mother should. NOW SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!!!

Dear Therapy Professors,

Just because it takes 15 of you to teach this course and you only have 2 lecture periods each... doesn't mean you should ALL assign us extra hour long breeze presentations to watch outside of class each week. You are the specialists... we are not... so we really don't need to know every little nit-picky detail.

It is not our fault you can't teach us what we need to know in your alloted time and it is defintely not our problem that the course director feels the need to have so many of you. Please remember that you are not are only professor and this is not our only class. (and that we actually do have lives out of class).

Also...while we are on the topic of time: class gets done at 12:05... not at 12:15 and defintitely not at 12:30. Please stop ruining our lunch hour!

dear fi,

why are you being so selfish? i wanted dance lessons, and we didn't do that...now your sayng that you'll only dance at OUR wedding if you're drunk? and you won't participate in the TTD session b/c you don't want to go in the water? this isn't an every day occurance...this is a once in a lifetime thing here and i don't think you understand that it's OUR wedding, not mine.

we leave in less than 2 weeks and you think it's a good idea to have a superbowl party?? and when i said i wanted nothing to do with it, you said ok, but now it's my responsibility to clean? i don't think so. and stop your whining about how you spent all day cleaning the shower doors. you want a medal? then i should get a medal every time i clean something.

i had to go to the doctor this week to find out why i've been getting such severe headaches and it's b/c of stress. YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF MY STRESS AT THIS POINT!

want to know why i'm not in the mood for you? read this post.

signed,

your stressed wife/fiance/girlfriend who would like to be able to relax.

Dear Boys,

Please stop screwing my little sister around. She really needs a break.

From,

Big Sister

Dear fi,

I don't know if you noticed or not but I'm barely home because i'm always WORKING. I work 75 hrs a week and I don't have time to clean the house. No, I didn't empty the dishwasher after I ran it at 10pm sunday night and i didn't have time to empty after working 15 hr days all week. Why don't you try getting off your ass after your 4 hr to 8 hr day you could take the 10 minutes that it takes to empty the dishwasher. Oh and do you think you could throw a load of towels in the washer for yourself. There's about 4 different petsmarts in a ten mile radius from our house, if the dogs ran out of food why don't you try going to one and picking up some dog food. Doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure that one out.

I don't have time to do all the things I usually do until after tax season. I need you to pick up the slack and help out around here. I know your used to not doing anything but give me a break here.

Love,

Danielle

PS. Oh, and the next time you want to have sex and i tell you i'm really too tired because I just finished doing wash and cleaning the kitchen that I don't use all week but somehow it's dirty from you not cleaning up after yourself, don't complain that your horny. I dont' want to hear it, I'M TIRED!!!