This morning on the radio LONG

this morning on the radio this listener sent in this email for Steve Harvey to help

I just recently had a conversation with my husband of 20 years. We are very close and we discuss everything. We were talking about some of the changes men go through in there forties and how that is around the time that many men become involved with outside relationships with other women. I ultimately asked my husband if he would honestly always be satisfied with just having sex with me. He hesitated for a long time with his answer and I knew before he answered that the answer was no. He than went on to explain that he loved me and would never do anything to hurt me, but it I gave him permission to have just sex with other women and not form a relationship with them he would. He said as he gets older he begins to wonder if he is still attractive and sexually appealing. He said if another younger woman found him sexually attractive it would be a boost to his wavering male ego. He asked if I would be willing to give my permission to him having sex with other women. He would not form a relationship with them and would let them know up front that it was only sex that he is interested in. He would be truthful and upfront with me on any questions of any encounters he might have if I wanted to know about it or he could do it and not tell me about it at all if it happened. But, only if I consented. My question to you is if this is his thinking then he is already having problems with monogamy. What should I do? Should I consent so that a potential for sneaking around can be eliminated? What can I do to get him to change his thinking if anything? What can I do to get him to be only interested in me again? Should I look the other way while my husband has sex with other women? Sincerely, Concerned

OMG - that's horrible!!!

Wow.....I dont even know what to say, poor caller. This reminds me of Mo'nique...she says she has an "open" relationship with her husband and if he happens to have relations with another woman, its not a "deal breaker" (in her words). I wouldnt tolerate this from my husband, once you said "i do" that was your commitment to spend the rest of your days with ME and ONLY ME.

to each their own, but no way in hell for me.

i think open marriages are fine if that's what both people want. as for me, umm, i'm super jealous. 'nuff said.

That's really sad and would be horrible to go through.

This wouldn't work for me. I can't share my future husband with anyone else, I'm very old fashion. NO way.

As much as I disagree with what he desires, she was the one who opened that can of worms. If she didn't want to know she shouldn't have asked. And at least he was honest with her...he hasn't gone sneaking around her back!

Human nature is unpredictable---- no matter what the intentions are about not developing sex into a relationship, it's still always a risk. When you invite other people into your marriage, you're putting the marriage at risk. The majority of people I've known who had affairs have made the statements "I didn't know it would end like this...." and my thought is always the same: "that why you shouldn't have let it start...."