Holy Crap!

So here I am sitting on my couch surfing BDW when my cell phone rings. Its my FMIL and she wants to know why I think she hates me and my DW. I was FLOORED! Apparently FI got in a wedding-related argument with his father this afternoon and pretty much told him how I felt that his mother wanted to control the wedding and was constantly throwing her money in my face ... he went on to DETAIL how I said 1) she blew off helping my sister plan my shower bc she doesnt want to have to pay for that too; 2) anytime I ask for her opinion on something I like she says the exact opposite; 3) she only cares about the wedding to the extent that it is a reflection on her to her friends; 4) she is so critical of everything I do that she even corrects stuff that she did, ie, the invite reply card...

First, let me say that all of the above things are true. Aside from the fact that she loves her son and me and wants us to have an amazing wedding, she really has fought me on this DW all the way (some of you girls might remember my posts on the endless fights bc she wanted a fancy NY wedding). Almost all of our disagreements have stemmed from how she thinks people, aka, her friends, are going to react to the different plans I have made.

Regardless, here I was minding my own business and FMIL calls me in this quivering voice (imagine the worst Jewish mother guilt voice EVER)... I didn't know what to say! How could FI not give me a freakin heads up!!! All I can say is, thank GOD her cell phone died after 5 minutes otherwise I would have been forced to fake some sort of accident... pretend the kitchen was on fire or something

... now I have the dreaded follow up conversation to look forward to...

Wow! That is rough! I can't believe he didn't warn you. But, maybe things will be better once you talk all this out with your FMIL. Good luck!!

OMG! That is crazy. I think FH needs to be tortured and hung by his toenails for not telling you he had given this *un-necessary* information to his family. Wow, that puts you in quite the pickle.

I would just explain to her that you are stressed about he DW and want it to be perfect and that it is upsetting when you don't feel like your hard work and decisions are appreciated.

But only after beating FH over the head with a frying pan.

That stinks! You totally should have been given a warning call by DF. Men don't think at all some times! Good luck! At least now you can think about what you are going to say when you talk to her again! So much for a peaceful evening!

Wow!!! I hope you're using this time to think of what you're going to say to her. But maybe this is good. Now you can finally get a lot off your chest (but in a nice way) and it will finally clear the air. Be sure to update us when you speak with her next.

oh no. That's nuts....not to mention uncomfortable!

wow galit i would be really mad at my FI if he put me in that position!!!! WTF?

OMG! I think you should have yourself a couple glasses of wine and call her back - then you won't have to worry about it and seriously doesn't everyone feel better after a couple glasses of wine! (just make sure it's not the whole bottle before you call her)

Oh hell no!!! I would be livid that he did that too! In the end, it's good that the truth came out and maybe she'll take a look at herself and change some things, but it's going to take a lot of BS to get past it. What a pain in the ass situation....ugggh. Sorry Galit, like you need this right now!

Yikes!!! I'm so sorry you had to go thru that! And the fact that at some point you'll have to finish only makes things worse.

Personally, I would probably take the coward's way out - tell her that FI shouldn't have shared that with her, that while it may be how you feel, you don't want to discuss it because nothing will be resolved. You will feel the way you feel, she will have her opinions and the world will go on.

Good luck. Keep us posted!