Biggest Destination Wedding Stress factor - what's yours?

lately I've been pretty stresesd about the fact that not that many of my friends/family are going to be able to attend. I have second guessed my decision to have a dw wedding probably a million times, but a dw wedding was the only way we could come up with to stay within our budget and have an AMAZING wedding (with an AHR).

 

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that if just a few close friends and family members are there for our dw wedding that I will be happy....

 

I'm sure I'll be stressed about something else next week! Ha!

That is one major stress i forgot on my list. Most of my important family can't come, aunts cousins, etc. it's hard to come to terms with the fact that so many people won't come...some were atcually pissed off at me and didn't even look at the price before making a decision. it really hurt, but i know in the end they'll regret their decision. it's our day, not theirs, right! hehehe cheer up!

Yep, none of my family is coming... well only two aunts and two uncles, no immediate family.

 

People have become so upset that my own family won't come they keep trying to pay for them so now I've had to lie to everyone and can't deal with thinking about how this is going to look on my actual wedding day when they aren't there.

Where can I begin.... every one is prego! We have at least 4 or 5 couples. Including my sis in law.

 

Then some people cant afford it...but we gave plenty enough time for them to save money and I know some of their economic situations havent changed.

 

In the end ...I have started not to care! who goes .... goes and who doesnt? Missed out on a lot of fun

Our biggest stress factor was trying to stay within the budget that DH and I agreed upon. In fact, we upped our budget 3 different times before finally deciding not to have fuss about the budget and just be cost conscious of what we choose to have and not have. Our 2nd biggest stress factor was planning the AHR since we did all the prepping and cooking ourselves. Other than that, it was pretty stress free because our WC took care of everything.

 

Oh yeah, my MOH had a big stress when her dress arrived about 3 wks before we were supposed to leave and the dress shop had ordered the wrong dress and there was no time to order a new one. Plus they tried to blame her and tell her that she had told them to order that dress when she hadn't. It all worked out in the end because she found a dress straight off the rack at David's Bridal that looked even better. But then, DB couldn't clean it for her in time so she had to take it to the cleaners herself, but they would reimburse her the cost for the cleaning, and getting it hemmed in time. It was a mess, but it all worked out in the end! She looked amazing. DH said it was the most beautiful BM dress he had ever seen.

I have this issue too!! My sister in law is due next week, one of my BEST FRIENDS planned the whole trip and found out she was pregnant and due 2 days before my wedding. It's so hard being happy for people when you're disappointed in the circumstance.

Also, one of my bridesmaid's husbands is constantly telling her he's going to get her pregnant and I hate to have to be weary of this!!!

LOL like she doesn't have a say

I know what you mean - in some ways I regret picking my MOH because she has 2 kids (well one will be popping out either today or tomorrow, she's 41+ weeks preggo!). She planned it around our wedding hehe - the only problem is she is planning on bringing her kids...but her husband is one of my FI's groomsmen...I just dont know how its all going to work. She might bring her mom to help out! I sort of think she should leave the kids for the week with her parents...they would be so much more stress free...but I understand this is not easy to do. I just wish she was more available sometimes - she is so busy that I can't see her planning my bachelorette etc.

PS - Kittenheart, that sucks about your family. Are they boycotting it, or not going for other reasons? Besides that it will look a little weird, is it bothering you that they won't be there?

Haha I know right! She assures me she won't let him knock her up until afterwards but that's not too easy to control when not on birth control.

Yeah my MOH has two kids as well and is trying to figure out all these difficult alternatives and staying in a timeshare etc. Drives me mad.

Extended family hasn't responded at all to anything I've sent out, fine, my mom and brother don't have the money and don't seem like they want to come. I told my mother I'd pay for the entire trip and a new bathings suit as well to see what she'd say and her response is, "well, I don't like flying either." So I'm thinking she doesn't want to come. It's terribly upsetting to me but if she doesn't want to be there, why should I force her and waste my own money. My father passed away years ago so he's really the only one with a legitimate excuse

One of my biggest stressors was getting people to book and to use our Travel Agents to book. We only gave 5 months official notice once every detail needed to book was set in stone and were told it was a squeeze but enough time/ notice. At first we had alot more people on board to go before we even had all the officials and particulars put together but once we gave out the booking info they slowly dropped like flies. We even shortened the length of the wedding guests stay w/ the Travel Agency to help lighten the expense. Now, we're only having a very small and intimate gathering of guests immediate family and barely that (FI's sisters and brothers are not going to attend and we were a little disappointed hoping that they could work something out and try to find a way to at least share the expenses with one another).

 

My MOH (and oldest sister) refuses to stay at my resort and cancelled her reservations w/ our TA at the last minute and has booked in a another city on the island over 3.5 hrs away claims she did something this extreme for money issues and it was cheaper but even before that was an issue she threatened to book there regardless (said because my resort was too bourgeoisie and expensive and she didn't want to be stuck babysitting anyone's children or having to take others sight seeing things no one even asked of her). She also has my younger sister staying with her. My mother still has YET to even get a passport and we fear she's just not going to make it especially with only 3 weeks left to work with, she has a rather unenthusiastic attitude about it all and I don't know why. She has also threatened to bring an uninvited and unstable guest that no one in the family has been getting along with as of late.

 

My advice to all DW Brides Stick To Your Guns! If you want something done do it, and if you don't don't. Don't go overkill as far as being accommodating to your guests, do what you can but draw the line somewhere (because you may go through all this trouble for people who may or may not even show or cancel at the last minute). The show must go on so don't entertain your guests drama, take it with a grain of salt, don't let it ruin your day or plans and remember that its your day (you and your husband to be).

 

~Happy Planning to All

Wow those reactions are awful. We havent yet formally announced our date or location but if anyone says that to us (aside from our parents), I think I'll just say "Dont worry about it! You dont have to come!" haha. I mean, really, you dont need people there who aren't at least willing to make an effort.