Rehearsal Dinner Who Pays?

jesswins · 06-12-2007, 07:59 PM

My family is paying for the wedding at Dreams and are planning to have a weelcome dinner as well. My question is traditionally the grooms family pays for the rehearsal dinner so should I discuss this with them. Prior to having a DW his mom mentioned she would be saving for a rehearsal dinner. Shoul dI assume this will be the same in Cabo. Won't it be cheaper anyways since we will be having it at Dreams?
Jess

Christine · 06-12-2007, 08:00 PM

I think DW's are not entirely traditional, however if your in laws are willing to pay your best bet is to do a welcome/rehearsal dinner (I think a lot of people have done it at a place in Cabo, just to get off the resort)

CourtneyV · 06-12-2007, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jesswins

My family is paying for the wedding at Dreams and are planning to have a weelcome dinner as well. My question is traditionally the grooms family pays for the rehearsal dinner so should I discuss this with them. Prior to having a DW his mom mentioned she would be saving for a rehearsal dinner. Shoul dI assume this will be the same in Cabo. Won't it be cheaper anyways since we will be having it at Dreams?
Jess

Jess,

I'm having my rehearsal/welcome dinner at Dreams. We're having a bonfire on the "Barracuda Beach". I don't know where that is on the resort, or what it looks like - but Mariana will show us when we're there in August for our site visit. I'll post pictures when we get back. We liked the bonfire because it's casual... but it is not less expensive. It is the same quoted ($24pp) price.

Yes, traditionally the groom's parents pay for this. Money can be a sensitive issue, I would let them bring it up if they want to pay, otherwise expect to fork over the dough yourself (IMO) .

MikkiStreak · 06-12-2007, 08:16 PM

I think in previous generations, the parents (both sets) footed the bill primarily because couples got married at much younger ages (right after finishing high school or college). As the average age for couples to marry has increased, the volume of parents paying for the weddings has declined. Most of the etiquette advice out there has reflected this also and now approach it from the perspective that if family volunteers to contribute, to be appreciative, but to never expect it. If finances are an issue, your FI can certainly broach the subject with his parents.

Also, anytime financial support is requested, the couple should be prepared for whether they want the contributor involved in the planning process.

gkashmira · 06-12-2007, 08:16 PM

I think traditionally the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner. however normally the rehearsal dinner is just the wedding party and immediate family. We are having a welcome dinner and my family is paying for it. We were the ones who decided to expand it beyond the normal group who would be invited so we paid for it. However you FI could just ask them if they'd like to pay or perhaps just contribute but only if you both feel comfortable with asking.

olisa6 · 06-12-2007, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nini_Bride

Jess,

I'm having my rehearsal/welcome dinner at Dreams. We're having a bonfire on the "Barracuda Beach". I don't know where that is on the resort, or what it looks like - but Mariana will show us when we're there in August for our site visit. I'll post pictures when we get back. We liked the bonfire because it's casual... but it is not less expensive. It is the same quoted ($24pp) price.

Yes, traditionally the groom's parents pay for this. Money can be a sensitive issue, I would let them bring it up if they want to pay, otherwise expect to fork over the dough yourself (IMO) .

Courtney - I will be doing my site visit the same few days as you. I fly into Cabo on July 28th and am there til August 1. We should meet there:) It would be fun. I have a question for you about the bonfire. I thought Riu was the only place that did it. Did you need a minimum amt of people to get that? Yessica is my WC. I'll have to ask her about it..

jesswins · 06-12-2007, 08:33 PM

Well my FI's sister just got married in September and invited the wedding party and all out of town guests, it was about 80 people. $24 a person does not seem like a lot of money however that depends on the number of guests we have. The only reason why I bring it up because my family mentioned something about the my FI's family paying for the rehearsal dinner. if they were planning on paying for a rehearsal dinner in our hometown why wouldn't they pay for the one in Cabo?

jesswins · 06-12-2007, 08:33 PM

I'd like to know about the bonfire as well.

olisa6 · 06-12-2007, 08:40 PM

Now to respond to the rehearsal dinner question. It is "traditional" for the brides parents to pay for the wedding reception and the groom's parents to pay for the rehearsal dinner. Usually the rehearsal dinner only consists of the members of the wedding party and their significant other, readers, singers, etc but with a DW I think it is etiquette/proper to invite all your guests since they paid alot of money to share the day with you. Today, since weddings are so darn expensive, I think both parents usually contribute some money to the occasion. My first wedding, my parents and my ex's parents both gave us money and we payed the rest ourselves. This time around, my mom isn't giving my squat so it is up to us. My fiance's dad offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner as well as anything else we needed help with, so I am going to take him up on it. It really depends on the family/person and how much they want to contribute to the occasion. My suggestion is take every penny you are offered. Weddings are not cheap, not even DW ones. I chose a DW the second time around thinking it would be inexpensive and I was wrong.

olisa6 · 06-12-2007, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jesswins

Well my FI's sister just got married in September and invited the wedding party and all out of town guests, it was about 80 people. $24 a person does not seem like a lot of money however that depends on the number of guests we have. The only reason why I bring it up because my family mentioned something about the my FI's family paying for the rehearsal dinner. if they were planning on paying for a rehearsal dinner in our hometown why wouldn't they pay for the one in Cabo?

I would think that they would pay for the rehearsal dinner in Cabo as well. It serves the same purpose no matter what country it is in. And $24 a person(at Dreams) is not alot of money. If you go into town it will be more expensive. Just see if she has a price limit. If it goes over, then you just pay the difference. But I think it is only right that all of your guests be invited. It is like expressing appreciation for their presence at your DW.