My story...

Heidi · 04-03-2007, 06:36 AM

I've been avoiding posting my engagement story, because even though it's one of the best days of my life, it's also one of the worst...

I found out I was pregnant in November, unexpectedly and it completely changed our world. But we completely fell in love with the idea of having a child together. We were so excited, buying every baby book we could find, we even bought a few things for the baby's room. We decided to tell everyone on Christmas eve about the baby (except our immediate families who found out shortly after we did!).

We were over at his family's Christmas eve dinner (his family is HUGE...there were about 25-30 people at dinner). My mom, brother and sister were also there. As we sat down to dinner, Reggie's uncle (whose house it was) stood up to give a toast and said that he was handing it over to Reggie who had an announcement. I started smiling, figuring he'd tell everyone about the pregnancy. Well that's where the surprise was on me. He stood up and said "You all know that Heidi & I have been dating for 7 years now, and this is long overdue," got down on his knee and brought out a ring. I was COMPLETELY bawling! I always hoped I'd be one of those girls from the movies who cries just beautifully, but NO WAY! They brought out the tissue box and I was just unattractively sobbing!! (Hormones might have played a roll in that too, haha!) Of course, I said yes. And then we told everyone about the baby later that night. It was so great, and so perfect. And it felt like everything in my life was falling into place.

Later that night, I started bleeding, BADLY. I went to the ER where they told me I had a subchorionic hemmorage, and that 90% of pregnancies progress normally after that. Well the bleeding kept getting worse so we went back to the hospital. This was the 4th ultrasound I had, and up to this point we had seen the heartbeat 3 times. This 4th time, there was NOTHING. Watching the ultrasound screen and seeing my baby's heart not beating was the most horrible, most emotionally devastating experience of my life, and I would never with that upon my worst enemy. I had an operation on Jan 2nd to remove what was left of the baby...and I'm still crying about it even now.

So the beginning of our engagement has been beyond difficult. Reggie has helped me through the worst times of my life, and I don't know where I would be without him.

SusanK · 04-03-2007, 06:51 AM

Heidi-
What an emotional rollercoaster. I pray for your strength to get through such a devestating loss. I cannot image the pain you are going through. I hope you can find some comfort and joy in anticipation of the day you will marry the man who you know can get you through anything life throws your way. You are in my thoughts and prayers!

cessyboston · 04-03-2007, 07:04 AM

i am so sorry...you are so strong.. i wish you and your husband to be ..so much happiness.. it takes a very very strong woman to share her story.....i pray life gets a little easier for you and your future family...
erica

TammyB · 04-03-2007, 07:27 AM

Heidi, I had a miscarriage as well. It was the first and only time I've ever been prego. I told everyone before we hit 3 months because I was so excited, I got really depressed after I lost the baby (at two months) Not only was the miscarriage painful but it was really hard for me to deal with. So I completly understand the emotions you are going through. Everyone used to tell me "it's for the best" but that only made things worse. So just know that my heart goes out to you, and if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me.

Heidi · 04-03-2007, 07:33 AM

Thank you everyone for your kind words & support. Posting on here actually helps me deal with it, believe it or not!

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAMMYM

I told everyone before we hit 3 months because I was so excited, I got really depressed after I lost the baby (at two months) Not only was the miscarriage painful but it was really hard for me to deal with. So I completly understand the emotions you are going through. Everyone used to tell me "it's for the best" but that only made things worse. So just know that my heart goes out to you, and if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me.

TammyM- ditton on telling everyone early. I was 10 weeks when I miscarried. And I know what you mean about the "its for the best" comment...my other favorite is "everything happens for a reason" - I know they all mean well, but every time I hear it...jeez!!!

AnnR · 04-03-2007, 08:00 AM

Heidi - i can't begin to imagine what you're going through, and I can't imagine how hard it is to have that happen to you. My thoughts are with you and Reggie! Thanks for sharing your story - and here's to looking forward to happier times!

anacgarcia · 04-03-2007, 08:54 AM

Heidi I don't know what to say.. it's something hard to forget ot to get over but I'm sure things will get better and you'll have a beautiful healthy baby

mexico2007 · 04-03-2007, 09:02 AM

I couldn't even begin to imagine how devistating that must have been for the two of you. I am truly sorry for your loss. But I am glad that you have eachother to lean on-I bet it has even brought you two even closer than before. I wish you both nothing but happiness in the years to come. Take care and don't worry things will get better.

CourtneyV · 04-03-2007, 09:34 AM

Heidi, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I can't even imagine how I would be able to get through something like that. You and your FI are a strong couple and it definately makes the both of you extraordinary people.

Raeka · 04-03-2007, 10:06 AM

HI Heidi, Congrats on your engagement. I hope you're feeling better :) As good as you can be doing I guess, given the circumstance right? Reggie sounds like a DH already hehehe. I know how miscarriages go as well. Except I didn't know I was prego at the time. I just figured I was late and then Xmas eve I woke up and there was blood everywhere. I was in so much pain. I couldn't move, I was terrified about what as going on and Jared took me to the emergency room. When I found out what was happening, I think I was more in shock than anything. I was really sad that Christmas.... and it took a while to get over. We never told anyone. MY FH was so amazing at the time. He is such a sweetie - and you must have got a good guy on your hands too. I thought there was something wrong with me and I took the blame. I don't think it's an easy thing to accept or get over. That was 2 years ago now.... and I think I'm ok now. If you need anything or have questions, need to vent PM me :)

You're going to be ok and you have a wedding to look forward to

BTW I love your sig pic, you're a beautiful couple