Anyone else dealing with angry family?

[DEE1978]

Angry Family Update: So dinner was pointless, in laws are still talking crap about us but in addition to that Future father in law says he would never vacation in Mexico and can't believe he has to go. He is so not a snob so I do not understand what his issue is. Anyway, neither has said a word to us about how they really feel but I have heard through the grapevine. Also, future sister in law, has not responded to any emails about the wedding. I just can't believe how selffish people...why can't any of these families understand this day is only for the bride and groom!!!! UGH. Sorry to vent but I really have had enough of this.

[Raeka]

Wow, Dee, that's intense. I've realized people are selfish throughout this whole DW process and everyone has their own ideas about where everyone else should be staying, going, flying etc. I just backed away because I can't deal with it any more. I'm guessing I'll have a few more cancellations, but I'm prepared for that.

[DEE1978]

Hey,
Yeah. I am so trying to let it roll off my shoulders but my blood is totally boiling. Should I just send formal invitations to people I know are going (3 people have already booked their travel)?
~Denise

[LEIGH]

Wow! I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this! It's really sad the amount of people that can be so disrespectful to both of your requests for a destination wedding! I have been dealing with this sort of issue since it all started about 6 months ago and it started to wear on me! I have expressed my concerns with my FI, and so has he. Not much that we can do at this point but let it roll off of our shoulders now! We both agreed that we would not get our feelings hurt if people didn't come but it's not really only that! It's the idea of people purposley being disrespectful about our special day! We put the wedding off longer than we needed to for the sake of everyone having plenty of time to pay for it! Not happening with his family! way to selfish to put $$$$ away to come to their own brothers wedding! It's just something that we have had to deal with and talk about more than once! I hope that it gets better for you guys, I personally have a "don't care" attitude anymore!!!!! I have stressed enough and it all comes down to figuring out who your real friends and family are!
Good luck and let me know if I can help!
Leigh

[LEIGH]

Originally Posted by DEE1978

Hey,
Yeah. I am so trying to let it roll off my shoulders but my blood is totally boiling. Should I just send formal invitations to people I know are going (3 people have already booked their travel)?
~Denise

I am sending an invite to everyone whether they have booked yet or not. We still have 6 months, and have already sent out our save the dates.
Have you sent save the dates yet?

[DEE1978]

Hi Leigh,

Thanks for the advice
My situation is bit different. FI and I have been enagaged for almost 2 years and we orginally planned for next year (Feb) but due to complaints from family about the price, babysitters, school vacations, time elapse of AHR (would have been in June 200...we decided to take the plunge asap! I am too anxouis and crazy to plan a wedding 12 months away so we figure we not kick off the summer with our wedding! Besided I felt so ready to be married that another year to being enagaged would be insane fo for me. BTW-we were not planning on having a AHR but pretty much manipulated into it. I know I sound awful but my future in laws are awful. My future mom in law has stated "we are treating this as an elopement...it is not a marriage in my eyes. we will be having a post nuptial reception after Mexico." So anyway, in lieu of the STD due to the time or lack their of time, we sent out STD emails. 3 people have booked and I am wondering what I should do about innvites. Also is there a polite way of saying to my future mom in law please do not ruin my wedding therefore I do not want you to come?

[LEIGH]

Originally Posted by DEE1978

Hi Leigh,

Thanks for the advice
My situation is bit different. FI and I have been enagaged for almost 2 years and we orginally planned for next year (Feb) but due to complaints from family about the price, babysitters, school vacations, time elapse of AHR (would have been in June 200...we decided to take the plunge asap! I am too anxouis and crazy to plan a wedding 12 months away so we figure we not kick off the summer with our wedding! Besided I felt so ready to be married that another year to being enagaged would be insane fo for me. BTW-we were not planning on having a AHR but pretty much manipulated into it. I know I sound awful but my future in laws are awful. My future mom in law has stated "we are treating this as an elopement...it is not a marriage in my eyes. we will be having a post nuptial reception after Mexico." So anyway, in lieu of the STD due to the time or lack their of time, we sent out STD emails. 3 people have booked and I am wondering what I should do about innvites. Also is there a polite way of saying to my future mom in law please do not ruin my wedding therefore I do not want you to come?

I don't know if there is a polite way of saying that! I say you plan what you want to plan, and everyone that doesn't make it, doesn't make it. Are they paying for anything or are they just being selfish and speaking their minds?! If they aren't paying for anything, then they could kiss my as*!!!!!!! Seriously, you and your fiance need to discuss this situation if you havn't already! If it were me, I would say out of respect, he would probably need to be the one to tell everyone to back off and they can come if they want!

[DEE1978]

Hey Leigh!

Thanks so much!
That is the thing...they are not paying for anything! FI and I are paying for the entire wedding and AHR. FI and I have talked and he has already had the talk with her but apparently it did not sink in. Yeah, I just need to remind myself this is our day not theirs-easier said than done. It is so hard not to get so worked up but that is it-ny blood pressure is probaly way up there right now. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

[TammyB]

Dee, IMO I would send the invites out to everyone, but since you changed your wedding day to about two months away, people will give you grief about it because they may not have the time to save the money to go. But that is not your problem. You do what you and your FI want, if they can make it great, if not their loss. When I sent out my invites I put in somthing that said we would like everyone to attend but if you can't make it, we understand and we ask that you be with us in spirit. or something like that.

[DEE1978]

Hi Tammy,
Actually only 10 people were told about a possible wedding date in FEb 2008so I in essence I did not change or move the date up 2 months really cause I never made it official. Everyone has assumed it and taken charge. But thank you for the tip about the invites