Anyone else dealing with angry family? - Page 2

Ali and Jeff · 03-16-2007, 02:56 PM

I have to agree with you on that one...Jeff and I both knew we wanted a destination wedding but didn't know any details of it so we didnt really say anything to anyone, just that we knew we wanted a DW. Then one day after work I walked into this travel agent on my way home and she had an incredible deal that was over in 2 days! As soon as I got home I called and emailed the fam and that was it...they had two days to decide if they wanted a good discounted trip! We had no complaining at all and it was so last minute! We did however have a few who choose not to go in with that package and tried to book later and had to stay at the sister hotel because ours was booked but it seemed to work great for our families!

Christine · 03-16-2007, 03:01 PM

oh yeah-I totally had a similar problem, which for me resulted in me changing my destination to a closer one for my family and friends. It was really important for me that they all be there-which for you it doesn't seem that way, you may want to see if they would rather you have a small gathering at home to celebrate so that way no one feels like they have to go.

itsme7396 · 03-16-2007, 04:25 PM

don't worry... we got it from our friends and family as well... you're not alone... my father didn't decide to go to our DW until the week before the wedding, and i only think he went b/c my mother guilted him into going... we also had family members tell us to our face, that they were going and how excited they were, then later find out from other family members that they were talking about us, and complaining that WE wanted them to spend all this money to go to our wedding... yet, when we announced that we were having a DW, we told everyone not to worry if they couldn't make it, and that we weren't pressuring anyone to go... we changed the location of our DW as well, just to make it easier for people that wanted to go...

but in the end... its just the two of you... so have the wedding YOU want... not the wedding they want for you...

gkashmira · 03-16-2007, 04:33 PM

Honestly I think everyone hears it when they first annoucne their plans to get married far away. I think how you handled it was perfect. Just tell your sister that not only does she not have to come but she doesn't even have to feel guilty about it. You, your FI and whoever WANTS to go will have a great time and you'd be happy to show her the pictures when you gusy get back.

Whenever I hear anyone complain, or my mom says so-and-so said such-and-such I just remind her to tell that that we totally understand if they can't make it. period. People forget that this day is not about them but rather about you and your FI. The good thing is that in the end you are going to have the person that matters the most there with you - your future husband.

Shelley · 03-17-2007, 10:29 AM

Thanks for all the great support guys! I knew I could count on you to make me feel better :) It helps to know that I'm not alone in experiencing this from family.

VALERIE · 03-17-2007, 10:48 AM

Absolutely, we are all going through the same comments (or did!) at some point of another. My parents and sister were no board from the very beginning. They were the ones telling me not to listen to the others! My brother could not afford it, so he didn't go. Truth be told, I offered to pay for him, but he still couldn't 'afford to take the time off.' I was upset he couldn't be there only for the fact that we were prepared to foot the bill.

My fiance's family was more hesitant, and voiced their opinions more. I knew that one of the families really wanted to go, so I basically took their top dollar that they could afford... and found the resort and everything else based on their top dollar.

In the end it worked out fine, but I still wish we would have been somewhere nicer than the resort we ended up with.

Ironically, we are all planning on doing another trip in 2 years! HA! This time, I'm not planning! lol

DEE1978 · 03-18-2007, 02:24 PM

I can relate! My future Mother in Law has tried to remind countless times that not many people will be attending you wedding and I have gotten so sick of it that I flat out said "I do not care if anyone comes-this is our special day." Anyway, she has not said another word to us and is going to our wedding and is all sweet to us but I just found out today that she is complaining to other people behind our back that she CANNOT understand why we are having a DW cause no one is going to come

. FI has been great about the whole thing telling me it is our day not hers so ignore her and he knows she is out of control (love him!) I was so pissed off when I found out! Anyway, FI and I are having a sit down with her tonight during dinner.
~Denise

soon2bmrsbyers · 03-21-2007, 08:52 AM

I got some comments at the beginning, but when we made our website we both listed and "honorary bridesmaid" and and "honorary groomsman." that way they were still acknowledged.... BTW Debs, what kind of dog is that on your avitar? I want one...

Debs · 03-21-2007, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soon2bmrsbyers

I BTW Debs, what kind of dog is that on your avitar? I want one...

He's a labradoodle... still a puppy there though, he's a horse now!! 85lbs and counting lol.

MERRYME · 03-21-2007, 04:22 PM

My dad was The worst- Sad to say but he is a NEW YORK CITY snob! Nowhere in Mexico was going to be good enough for his friends..

But once I really sat down and talked to him and He made a site visist. Then he really got into it. Both Family and friends had an incredible time and any time we all get toghether people are still saying what a great time they had and how fun it would be to go back.

My father is still talking about what a wonderful opportunity it was for everyone to be toghether for such an extended time and in such a relaxed setting.

It all boils down to one thing what YOU as a coupple want. Don't let family pressure you into doing something you don't want... especially if you are paying for it.