Guest List Advice

Ali0624 · 03-05-2007, 02:43 PM

I work in a very small office of only about 12 people. I get along with everyone except 1. Although this person and I don't care for each other, I feel awful inviting everyone, but him. Should I only invite the 3-4 I'm close with or should I invite everyone except the meanie? What do you think? Number of attendees isn't really a factor.

Tlseege · 03-05-2007, 02:47 PM

I actually have that same issue. Only my team is 6 people and I don't like one. I think that would be WAY too obvious! Perhaps that one person doesn't think fondly of you too? In which case they wouldn't come anyway? You could set out an invitation in the office, kind of open ended, but send a formal invitation to the 3-4 people. That way, "everyone" gets invited, but only the people you really want there will probably come.

CourtneyV · 03-05-2007, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tlseege

I actually have that same issue. Only my team is 6 people and I don't like one. I think that would be WAY too obvious! Perhaps that one person doesn't think fondly of you too? In which case they wouldn't come anyway? You could set out an invitation in the office, kind of open ended, but send a formal invitation to the 3-4 people. That way, "everyone" gets invited, but only the people you really want there will probably come.

I think that's excellent advice!! I wouldn't even bring a formal invitation - I would just state on some pretty letterhead (or whatever) the date, time, and location. Maybe even say something like well wishes appreciated from those who are unable to to attend so that the people who may feel mutually about you don't feel obligated to attend... and THEN send out the formal invitations afterwards.

AnnR · 03-05-2007, 03:02 PM

i cannot imagine inviting someone to my wedding that i didn't - especially a co-worker! well, unless it was a relative - lol. i'd say invite who you WANT to invite, not who you think you should. this is your wedding!

CourtneyV · 03-05-2007, 03:08 PM

While I would normally agree with you, Ann... I just know what it's like to deal with office politics at its worst. I guess I'm one to avoid conflict though. At the same time, I will not be inviting certain family members that I KNOW will be offended, but (as sad as it is) they're really the last ones I want there. I guess it depends on the degree of the relationship. If they're there will it affect your day? If yes, then I'd agree with Ann... if you think that it won't make much of a difference then I'd casually invite them. Ahh - does this count as a conflict, Ann?! lol, Sorry!!! Friends?! :)

Janet · 03-05-2007, 03:12 PM

I would only invite people you WANT at your wedding, so maybe just the 3-4. Don't invite the rest just to be nice, especially because it's a destination wedding. Then you don't have to worry about only leaving one person out!

For me, even though I really like my boss, I could not picture him flying to Mexico for me, and then me getting tipsy at my wedding reception in front of him. That's not an insult, it's just the truth! Only invite people you really want to share the day with.

AnnR · 03-05-2007, 03:14 PM

while i do work in an office every day, my "co-workers" are all over the country. as a consultant, i see politics way too often, in all forms, but luckily i never get too involved, or if i do i know i will be moving on soon. this is why consulting is the only job i've ever had - i have yet to run into a company where i could see myself working permanently! but i digress. i have such a small tolerence for politics, office or otherwise!, that i probably am not the right person to give feedback on this issue.

i just know that when i think about who i really want to share one of the most special days of my life with me, very few co-workers are on that list.

Christa · 03-05-2007, 04:20 PM

I work in a small office of 5 staff members & 3 partners & I didn't invite any one of them. I made it very clear early on that this was an intimate event. I would honestly have loved to invite my boss & the owners, but it just wouldn't work for us to all be out of the office at once. so I just didn't even invite any of them...I don't think they were offended.

MikkiStreak · 03-05-2007, 06:54 PM

If you are wanting to invite everyone except this one person, here's an idea---- mail one of your formal invites to the company as a whole---- those you are close to you can approach about it verbally, but it won't "offend" because it will be for everyone in the company. It will probably get posted on a peg-board somewhere for everyone to see. At least, that's the way I've seen it work in small companies I've worked for...

TA Jill · 03-06-2007, 09:17 AM

The office I work in has about 50-60 people and I've worked there for 7 years, so I have worked with a lot of the people since I started there. However, I'm not inviting any of them because as much as its nice to talk to them at work, I don't get together with any of them outside of work. And if I were going to invite any of them, it would just be the guys from my department, but I know that realistically none of them would be able to go because we can't all have time off at the same time, so its just easier to not invite any of them, and they don't really think anything of it. I've even mentioned to them that I would have invited all of them, but knowing they wouldn't be able to go, I didn't and they understood. Honestly they were probably relieved to not be invited because they won't have to get me a gift!! Although, its all guys, so they probably wouldn't even know that they should get me a gift, hahaha!