I feel like no one is coming to the wedding... - Page 2

Melissa24 · 09-28-2008, 04:09 PM

I too was also bummed that lots of people were not going to be able to attend, I was to the point where I was going to start offering to pay people's way so they could be there. That is when my FI knock me up side the head and told me I was nuts!

He reminded me that as long as the two of us were there and we were happy that is all that matters. Besides he told me our partnet and your sister and her family are coming and that is all we need, anyone else is a bonus!

Now I know why he loves me so much! Keep your head up, you will be surprised how many people you will have, we grew from 10 to 25 in like two days!

Mrs D To Be! · 09-28-2008, 05:58 PM

No-one likes to be told no, but focus on the people who have said yes...these are the people who are sharing your day with you!

And remember that you and h2b will be the centre of attention, no one else!! you'll be enjoying yourself soo much you won't have time to think about the people who couldn't make it!

We thought about our destination wedding choice alot before announcing it, and decided we were only inviting family, because we knew some friends wouldn't be able to afford it, and figured it was more important to us to have our family there only. We initially said to everyone we would have a party when we came back for everyone to be part of the celebration who couldn't make mexico, we even put it on the save the dates. But now we are having second thoughts, because most of the family seem to be coming.

Your wedding is what you make of it, remember that girlie and it will be great!

xxxxxxx

~*petals*~ · 09-29-2008, 02:59 PM

I agree with the rest of the girls-- focus on you & your future husband & those who will actually make it. I'm actually hoping for a small & intimate wedding although we invited a good amount of people. As long as our parents & siblings can come (and they're already booked, except my sis), we'll be perfectly happy with our DW. Try not to stress about it... just relax and enjoy your day with everybody who comes to wish you well!

mummergirl · 09-29-2008, 04:16 PM

i made a similar post not too long ago and of course the girls here all gave great advice and perspective. it's been said a million times, but remember who and what your wedding day is really about, and keep in mind that those who don't make it there are the ones who are missing out. when everyone comes back home saying how beautiful the wedding was and what an incredible time they all had, the no-shows will regret missing it.

my "matron of honor" is definitely not coming. got that news the other day. i can't lie to you and say i didn't cry for a few hours over it, but in the end, i know everything will turn out exactly the way it was meant to.

kr3611 · 09-29-2008, 09:44 PM

THanks for all of the advice - it's reassuring to hear others feel/have felt the same way. It is all about the two of us, and we are so lucky that all of our immediate family will be able to join us - and after 7 years we're getting married!

NJ_bride · 09-30-2008, 01:58 PM

Ugh! I feel exactly the same way. I just think about how FH and I would jump a the chance to go to our friends/family's destination wedding no matter where it was. We don't have a ton of money or time off but hopefully you know far in advance and plan ahead. If you want to be at something you FIND A WAY! Of course some people can't travel for medical reasons, understood. But overall it's about what people make a priority. My 2 Aunt's just went to Russia for 2 weeks this summer and are not coming to Jamaica, simply put they don't want to come to Jamaica. Whatever! It isn't about everyone else. I have been to enough weddings to know people are never happy no matter where it is. A destination wedding gives them an easy out. For me people who don't come to our wedding are not going to rate well in my life in the future.

On the flip side the people who are coming are extra special!

RRsmile · 09-30-2008, 02:11 PM

Thanks for all your kinds words of support. It has definitely helped me look at things in a new light!!

mummergirl · 09-30-2008, 03:46 PM

hi i went back and found the thread where i posted pretty much the same dilemma ... seriously these girls really helped me put everything in perspective. if you have the time, definitely give it a read-through, especially LC_Rachel's comments (she went through this situation herself, to an extreme). everyone told me to ask myself if a DW is really what i wanted ... and i have to say, the answer is yes, no matter who comes!

little by little, no one is coming ... i give up!

ejaxon · 10-11-2008, 09:25 PM

I would reiterate what has been said over and over....all that matters is you and your future husband. However, I need to keep saying that to myself in order to believe it...I'm in a similar situation. We have very large families and figured to avoid upsetting the masses, we'd only invite immediate family. Should have totalled around 15 people. Well, slowly but surely, whether because of cost, pregnancy, or other legitimate excuse, we will now have only 4 guests. This didn't bother me until I spent this evening researching photographers and videographers. Looking at all the pics and videos made me feel like a loser. I'm slightly tempted to open this up to more extended family and friends but worry I'll be setting myself up for more dissappointment. With the current financial situation, I doubt many people would be willing to drop almost 1500 bucks for a four day vacation. Plus, this isn't a popularity contest, right?
Someone else mentioned bagging the whole DW idea and turning it into our honeymoon. Just get married at the JOP (as we were planning to do anyway) and go to Mexico by ourselves. Would our guests be out what they paid for their flights?
If we keep the DW plan, I have a serious question, what happens when there are so few guests? Do you even have a reception? Or is it more like dinner at a table for 6? Has anyone experienced this?
Sorry for being so long winded-I'm just feeling a little frustrated and disappointed.

Kristie O · 10-12-2008, 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ejaxon

I would reiterate what has been said over and over....all that matters is you and your future husband. However, I need to keep saying that to myself in order to believe it...I'm in a similar situation. We have very large families and figured to avoid upsetting the masses, we'd only invite immediate family. Should have totalled around 15 people. Well, slowly but surely, whether because of cost, pregnancy, or other legitimate excuse, we will now have only 4 guests. This didn't bother me until I spent this evening researching photographers and videographers. Looking at all the pics and videos made me feel like a loser. I'm slightly tempted to open this up to more extended family and friends but worry I'll be setting myself up for more dissappointment. With the current financial situation, I doubt many people would be willing to drop almost 1500 bucks for a four day vacation. Plus, this isn't a popularity contest, right?
Someone else mentioned bagging the whole DW idea and turning it into our honeymoon. Just get married at the JOP (as we were planning to do anyway) and go to Mexico by ourselves. Would our guests be out what they paid for their flights?
If we keep the DW plan, I have a serious question, what happens when there are so few guests? Do you even have a reception? Or is it more like dinner at a table for 6? Has anyone experienced this?
Sorry for being so long winded-I'm just feeling a little frustrated and disappointed.

i would have to say, dont sweat it! the small weddings ive shot, were the best to me because more time to focus on AMAZING romantic pics! and more money left over for a better photog, decor and dress too. i didnt even have a wedding, we got married at the courthouse. every couple and their life story is so different. our families happen to be so broken, it would not been a joy to of had them around to be honest. i would like to have a vow renewal some day on the beach in the sand, but for me personally, id rather be without the stress of all the hupla. being a photographer, i attend weddings all the time and can sometimes be a little envyous (like 1% :) of the "wonderful" people around but its our love and handful of super close true friends and close family members that matter to us most anyway. you can always have a reception with more people when you get back too:) not sure if that helped, i hope so. you know what too? people are just so freaked about the economy too, so i think its just the timing, not unpopularity:)