I feel like no one is coming to the wedding...

kr3611 · 09-27-2008, 02:18 PM

From the start, we knew that having the wedding in Mexico would mean that not many would come. We decided not to have a bridal party but to still invite everyone we wanted to and if they could come that would be great, if not then we understood. Then with airfare going up, gas prices, and those that "don't go to Mexico", we're down to this..... My best friend since childhood is afraid of flying, and won't go that far on a plane. Our parents, siblings, neices, nephews, my aunt and cousin are coming, which makes us a group of about 20. I keep telling myself that it's about the two of us and we're so lucky that our families are there, but as we approach the final week before the wedding I'm disappointed about the non family guest response. Many we never heard back from, and three of my coworkers did RSVP yes, however this past week one of them said her boyfriend couldn't get the time off wokr and the other one has some drama with the third coworker and is backing out with a lame excuse. I guess I just need to let it all go and focus on what's really important

Kelly C · 09-27-2008, 02:29 PM

I wouldn't worry to much about it. We only have 26ppl and now that were getting close I'm glad. THe more people there the more you have to entertain. And after putting the welcome bags together this weekend I glad I don't have to make anymore. But trust me I understand one of my Bm backed out last week because she was having a affiar with my photographer and me and her husband just found out. So no wedding goes with out a litlle drama.

JUSTUSTWO · 09-27-2008, 02:30 PM

You're not alone in this. Many of us BDW brides have been where you are now. As you said, focus on whats most important, you & FI. In the end, when you look back on your day, thats what you will remember. The great time that you had & the fact that you are married!
Also, when I felt the same way & was complaining to my mother, she made me realize that the people that were coming, were the people who I should be thankful for. They made the sacrifice & that should show me how much they cared. I was spending so much time worrying about those that were'nt coming, that I forgot how special those that did come were!
So, again, you'll be fine. Don't worry about those who can't come, backed out, whatever. Think about all the wonderful memories you'll have of your wedding day, spent with friends & family who matter the most. And a group of 20 is much more intimate & manageable than a group of 40-50! I don't know what I would've done if I had to keep up with & entertain 50 guests instead of 30.

CourtneyV · 09-27-2008, 03:26 PM

It's your wedding, not your guests!! It is about you and your FI. Period. End of story. The guests attending are just icing on the cake (no pun intended!). In my opinion, 20 people is lots... that's about how many I had and it was the most meaningful, intimate event. I'm glad I didn't have any more.

Also, I think something that you have to realize is that many of your guests who can't make it aren't doing so because they don't love you, it's usually because they simply can't. Whether it's money, or work or something else in their life, you can't expect them to drop their priorities (or fears!)!

Enjoy your day with your new husband, that's all it's about! :)

mexicobride2009 · 09-27-2008, 04:08 PM

You are definately not alone in your situation or the way you're feeling about it!! We likely won't have even 20 people! Our rsvp "due date" is on October 15 and we only have 2 back so far!

My FI's family is all overseas (he is from Australia) so most of them (or maybe all of them) won't be able to come.
Sometimes I am totally happy with the idea of a small intimate wedding but it does bother me sometimes that certain people won't be able to attend!
Keep your chin up - it will be a special day no matter what and like everyone else has said, it's you and your FI's day!!

Hartyt509 · 09-27-2008, 04:30 PM

It happens with everyone, all my side have booked only FMIL for FI's has even though everyone has been saying they would defo be there.

We are months off and I have to say i'm not bothered if no-one else comes like everyone else has said its about you and FI no-one else

Maura · 09-27-2008, 04:33 PM

honestly..... on my wedding day, i did not miss (nor did i even think about) anyone who was not there! don't be so bummed, 20 is still a decent size group! look at it this way: you'll be able to spend more time with the people who did care enough to fly there and support you!

JaimeLynne · 09-27-2008, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kelly C

But trust me I understand one of my Bm backed out last week because she was having a affiar with my photographer and me and her husband just found out. So no wedding goes with out a litlle drama.

Holy crap!!! That is nuts!

Quote:

Originally Posted by JUSTUSTWO

Also, when I felt the same way & was complaining to my mother, she made me realize that the people that were coming, were the people who I should be thankful for. They made the sacrifice & that should show me how much they cared. I was spending so much time worrying about those that were'nt coming, that I forgot how special those that did come were!

Excellent advice, thanks for the refresher

And yes, unfortunately we all go through this. You just never can tell with these types of things... Like, we have 23 RSVPs but only about 10 or so people have actually booked either their airfare or hotel so there's no telling...

Jennifer Davis · 09-27-2008, 07:19 PM

I think there has been a lot of GREAT advice on this thread. As long as the most important people are going ...... everything will work out!

A lot of girls said it already ...less people = less work = you get to have more fun! Fun is what you should have on your wedding day. It is a life event that you will want to be able to savor every minute of!

RRsmile · 09-27-2008, 07:52 PM

I'm so glad to find this thread today. Just this afternoon i had a really good friend tell me that only her husband was going to be able to come and not her. Unfortunately, my reaction was to burst out in tears (I'm PMSing) and I felt horrible and sad and actually felt that maybe I made the wrong choice to have a DW...I know when it comes down to it that the people who can't make it love me and I understand. I just can't help think that I won't be able to get past the guilt of asking people to spend the $$ to come to our wedding in St. Thomas. I've been bummed all day and we haven't even sent our invitations out yet. I'm worried obviously...but I have to keep in my mind that it is about US and the people that are going to be there. Any advice will surely ease my anxiety...thanks.