Feeling Disconnected

[mummergirl]

LOL don't worry about seeming girly/whiny HERE of all places! isn't that what we're here for?

anyway, i get this way too about our relationship sometimes ... and i'll tell tom i miss him and he's like, "HUH? you miss me? WE LIVE TOGETHER!" LOL ... i don't think he'll ever *really* get what i mean ... aside from leading busy lives separately, he's not an extremely affectionate person in general, and we're total opposites on a lot of our interests. so more often than not one of us will be on the computer while the other is watching some stupid show ... and in the meantime i get to feeling like we're ROOMMATES instead of husband-and-wife-to-be, ya know?

i'll whine about it a little, and he actually works to fix it ... a few weeks later it ends up back to the same ... or maybe i'm just pms-ing again? LMAO

[Michelle]

Aww Kaylee i feel the same way sometimes too and it probably is me PMSing too lol...my FI and i get really busy sometimes and I just get upset because I miss when I used to spend weekends before we moved in together or when I just moved in and we would go for walks and watch movies and just spend lots of time together and eventually I just told him that i was scared we were becoming like "roomies" and it worried me that he felt really far away... and he realised what i meant and had just never noticed it himself..it really helped to talk about it :) and now if i feel the same way at any time i just joke that hes turning into my roomie and he understands what i mean and puts effort into it again lol....but i think girls are just alot more sensitive i guess guys just get so comfortable and forget to do all the cute things they did when we first started dating :)

[kevsgirl]

Kaylee, I completely understand where you're coming from.
We've got under 3 months to go and I think it also makes it maybe a bit more worrisome when the date's approaching...

We both recognize it though, which is helpful. Even sometimes FI will tell me he knows he's being distant because he has so much on his mind from work.
The past few days we've stayed in. We decided against going out with friends on Friday to sleep, so we'd have energy for eachother on the weekend. When I feel like things are getting too hectic, like we're seeing his parents for dinner every single Sunday, I push back and he's great about cutting that out once in a while.

Do you talk to FI about how you feel? Does he recognize it too?

Is there something fun you guys could schedule to do together?

I just registered FI and I for dance classes. We took salsa last year and even though it was super tiring to go out after dinner, we always ended up laughing the entier class and having a great time.

Good luck and

Andrea :)

[KAMAY11]

Thank you all so much for your great advice! It's just nice knowing that I'm not the only one who can feel this way!

[Amarillis]

I agree with most of the comments (sorry Harty, we aren't on the same page).

But, this is definately the place to vent.

Sometimes a date night can just bring you back to that place... I am a strong believer in that.

We live in a teeny tiny community, our date nights are usually at home... but we don't take calls, sit in our hottub and just talk... sometimes that is all it takes.

You probs have wedding fever to boot... have a glass of vino with your FI and wind down... and tell him the occasion is

HAPPY FRIDAY!

[mummergirl]

Originally Posted by shelly

Aww Kaylee i feel the same way sometimes too and it probably is me PMSing too lol...my FI and i get really busy sometimes and I just get upset because I miss when I used to spend weekends before we moved in together or when I just moved in and we would go for walks and watch movies and just spend lots of time together and eventually I just told him that i was scared we were becoming like "roomies" and it worried me that he felt really far away... and he realised what i meant and had just never noticed it himself..it really helped to talk about it :) and now if i feel the same way at any time i just joke that hes turning into my roomie and he understands what i mean and puts effort into it again lol....but i think girls are just alot more sensitive i guess guys just get so comfortable and forget to do all the cute things they did when we first started dating :)

yeah it's totally "roomie syndrome!" LOL

let's face it girls, if our guys *weren't* so comfortable in the relationship (to the point where you're like "roomies") then they probably would have never asked us to marry them in the first place! not their fault we're needy! LMAO

it happens to the best of us ... and as with all relationship struggles, communication is key!

[Hartyt509]

Originally Posted by Amarillis

I agree with most of the comments (sorry Harty, we aren't on the same page).

LOL don't worry everyone is different. Myself I'm an only child and like my own space so it doesn't worry me. Mind you when he comes home and goes straight on the PS2 I have a major fit lol I think the difference is when i met FI he was in the army and I knew what the deal was. If I didn't like it it was tough part of the package so for me its normal not to see him for weeks or even speak to him. In fact he went to Cyprus for 7 months a couple of years ago and I saw him for 2 weeks in that time, and when we get back from the wedding he's off for 6 months to somewhere hot and dangerous. Just makes it good when we are together.

[Nitnylyin1]

Kaylee,
You are so not alone! I do think that the closer you get to the big day the more heebie jeebies you get. Even about things that may not normally bother you. It'll be ok. I get the same way often too.