Are we weird?

Dez921714 · 08-08-2008, 08:30 AM

Ok, so there are a ton of threads on "Un-invited Guests" and how they are irritating.

FI and I are very much "the more the merrier" type people. Even in our home, if we're having a bbq or something, we don't mind if you bring someone.

Well, with our wedding, I guess we are the same way...We were at a very close friends house and his SIL and BIL were there. We've met them a few times and they are pretty cool (and fun) people. So we verbally invited them and when it comes to invitation time, we'll send them one. After getting over "we aren't really invited" and our friend reassuring them that it's ok for them to come, they booked their tickets. I guess they mentioned it to two of their friend and they asked if they could come! Our friend told them he'll check with us, but as far as he knows us, we won't mind. And we don't.

FI's mom's best friend...apparently her MIL and SIL want to come. I've never met these people, but again, I don't mind. They even said that they don't necessarly want to come to the wedding, just to Mexico. We told her that of course they can come and if they are coming that they will be invited to everything and treated as any other guest (welcome dinner, wedding, OOT bag, etc.).

FI and I are talking about having a "Margarita Party & BBQ" sometime in Sept or Oct (if it's not too cold out) for all of our local already booked Mexico guests to get together adn meet each other before heading to Mexico.

I feel like we're the only bride and groom who don't mind this...

lucy106 · 08-08-2008, 08:32 AM

I love your idea of a pre-party for everyone to meet, that sounds awesome!! I dont think you are weird at all. I can see both sides, I mean I dont want to pay for someone I dont know but I also want my friends and family to be comfortable and if bringing someone they know helps then have at it. Who knows maybe that person will end up being a blast and a new friend!

DanielleNDerek · 08-08-2008, 08:38 AM

I see both sides too. I can understand your "more the merrier" attitude which I love. But i can also see why people would be annoyed when others invite themselves.

Im not sure how i'd be. If anyone wanted to come down with my guests I'd be like cool more people for our group vacation but I dont' know if i'd invite them to all the wedding stuff. If it's just a few extra people yeah, but if 10 extra people I might feel differently. KWIM?

ErinB · 08-08-2008, 08:40 AM

We were the same way!

My philosophy was, this is a celebratory time in our lives. Why not be surrounded by support and happiness?

We had 4 people come who were friends of friends that I had never met before. We all had a wonderful time together and both couples attended our AHR. I feel like we gained new friends!

If anything they really helped us out because we booked a group package and had seats to fill after others backed out.

I also didn't have a strict itenerary for the group. Other than the wedding day, nothing was planned. I simply made group reservations for things like the catamaran cruise and the beach party so our guests wouldn't have to. I gave everyone a copy of our schedule and told them to join us if they wanted. I think by each guest/family having additional friends/family there, kind of eased my mind so that I wasn't trying to make sure everyone was having fun, etc.

I can see where some people are concerned about the costs associated with additional guests, OOT bags, private dinners, etc. We went with the free wedding package and the semi-private (free) reception. As far as OOT bags, they didn't get some of the pricier items I had for family if I was short on them, but I did put a few extra, cheaper trinkets in. They were both really impressed with the thought, moreso than the contents.

starchild · 08-08-2008, 08:46 AM

It's funny because for us in our "real" life we are the same as you - we throw BBQ's and you can bring your cousins and your cousins' cousins and the more the merrier. With our wedding we got really particular, I think because we felt it was such an intimate moment that we only wanted our strongest supporters around us.

We had also been together many years at the time of our marriage so we had a clear idea of who had been instrumental in our lives and wanted to share it with those people, not people that mainly came for the party/vacation. I don't know if that makes sense but basically we didn't think of the wedding as a party like we would any other event, so we were more guarded.

Oh, and I don't think you guys are weird, it's just a different approach :)

Jacqueline · 08-08-2008, 08:49 AM

omg u ARE a freak. SYKE, i am totally f'ing with you, lol. no, i dont think you're weird at all! to me, id rather keep it close friends and family for the intimacy part of it and also, cash has a lot to do with it. i dont have the $ to put out for people i dont know. if they are a guest of the friend or family member, sure, they are more than welcome...but if its just a random person i'd rather not. but there are def no "rules" to go by, to each their own ya know?

I'm also having a tradiotional wedding, so it's diff than destination too, guest mostly pay for themselves anyway for hotel and all...

Virg · 08-08-2008, 09:30 AM

WE ARE DOING THE SAME THING!!
We are definetly '' The more the merrier'' type. It may be our wedding, but it is also a vacation.

Besides, if the people you don't know are not comfortable crashing your wedding activities, then to me, that is ok too. I see it as a group together, with our wedding on one of the days. Some of our friend's parents are coming too, some we know, some we don't, and we don't care one bit either!

Jamminworld · 08-08-2008, 09:38 AM

I'm kind of the same way if someone wants to come they are more than welcome to come. We don't plan on having anyone show up but if they did we would both be ok with it.

Davematthews16 · 08-08-2008, 09:38 AM

You aren't weird silly!!! I think it's great that you are so open and kind, and have the "more the merrier attitude"! :) I suppose it just depends on each of our personalities, and past experiences. I have had a few "horror stories" with a friends friend in my home, and didn't want to risk it with the wedding. I'm sure everyone will mingle and get along great!

Dez921714 · 08-08-2008, 09:46 AM

Ok, good to know we aren't THAT weird..well, we are weird, but for different reasons LOL

Don't get me wrong, I 100% understand just wanting the people you invite there too.

The cost for the reception are "per table"...so far the extra people aren't adding a whole table just taking seats on one we'd have needed anyway.

We kind of look at it as some of our closest friends and family aren't coming (FI's dad and a friend who I was MOH for) so if people WANT to come, why not let them.

And this is the selfish reason that is at the bottom of the list with why we're ok with it, but...it does help that we have a group contract and the more rooms we have booked, we'll get certain perks...so when "definates" back out (like my friend) we aren't down a room.

I want it to be a trip for everyone to remember :) And I'm sure it will be!