HELP! How do I stop uninvited guests? - Page 2

KLC77 · 08-07-2008, 09:08 PM

I think that people don't really think of the wedding part and think about the vacation. They seem to forget that the whole reason for going is OUR WEDDING not a fun vacation and hey, let's get married while we're here. We're dealing with a similar situation. I'm just being honest and saying that "extra guests" are not being invited to the wedding. In a nice way of course... It would be one thing if its a regular wedding that lasts 6 hours, but when you have a welcome dinner, excursion, breakfast I just can't see having FI's friend's cousin/ mother/gf I've never met involved. But I am a little bitchy... lol

litl_april · 08-07-2008, 10:53 PM

I understand the feelings that everyone's having! Like others have said, food and such will not be cheap when it's all said and done. My situation is primarily a roommate who FI and I actually graduated high school with. She has friends that we are inviting down there, so she has people she can spend time with there, but she has every intentions of bringing her two sisters. We don't know how to approach this as we do know her siblings, and also plan to invite her brother who FI is friends with, but we aren't close to her sisters. Do we suck it up and pay the $30pp reception food, plus all the other undetermined (as of now) costs for these extra 2. I don't believe we'll have to deal with the trouble from other guests. This one just doesn't think about others too well....haha, to the point where she went off on me the other day because she had to do 3 dishwasher loads in 2 weeks (yet FI, myself, and another roommate does much more than she ever has). Ok, sorry, tangent there. Anyways, any advice on what to say or do? It'd be greatly appreciated! To others, good luck with yours, I realize the stress it creates!

Kits55 · 08-07-2008, 11:19 PM

I have had an issue similar to this. now, this is kind of rude but actually my friend who wants to come to MY wedding thought of this idea and so far it's taken quite a few people off of the list. Since people want to use your wedding as an excuse for a vacation, if their "excuse" is not so much possible then it changes some people's minds. You can put any spin on this but here is what we decided to do. (we actually DO want it small, only 20 including us and the wedding party) but i really want to keep costs down so i can splurge on fun stuff!) We told people that they are more than welcome to help us celebrate our wedding WEEK by staying at the same resort as us. We then proceeded to tell them that if they so desired they could form an "informal reception" during our "formal or actual reception". So everyone that is there but NOT invited can all meet at a restaurant or bar and after dinner at your real reception you and your DH can go and say hi and thank everyone for coming. most people if they can't come to the 'real reception' don't even want to go then. so they may decide they are fine with just a normal vacation. now, if you don't mind including them in any group activities you are doing (activities where people pay their own way, not you guys paying) you can tell that too. for us it was people fairly close to us that we had to tell that too. we said it in as nice a way as possible, basically, "you mean a lot to us but we're having only immediate family and our wedding party attend our ceremony and reception. we'd still love to have you there to help us celebrate the week but unfortunately we could not accommodate you at the wedding itself, although we'd love for you to join us when we go "deep sea fishing-or whatever it is".

it might be a totally dumb idea but it worked for us! :)

briscoecrown · 08-12-2008, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kits55

I have had an issue similar to this. now, this is kind of rude but actually my friend who wants to come to MY wedding thought of this idea and so far it's taken quite a few people off of the list. Since people want to use your wedding as an excuse for a vacation, if their "excuse" is not so much possible then it changes some people's minds. You can put any spin on this but here is what we decided to do. (we actually DO want it small, only 20 including us and the wedding party) but i really want to keep costs down so i can splurge on fun stuff!) We told people that they are more than welcome to help us celebrate our wedding WEEK by staying at the same resort as us. We then proceeded to tell them that if they so desired they could form an "informal reception" during our "formal or actual reception". So everyone that is there but NOT invited can all meet at a restaurant or bar and after dinner at your real reception you and your DH can go and say hi and thank everyone for coming. most people if they can't come to the 'real reception' don't even want to go then. so they may decide they are fine with just a normal vacation. now, if you don't mind including them in any group activities you are doing (activities where people pay their own way, not you guys paying) you can tell that too. for us it was people fairly close to us that we had to tell that too. we said it in as nice a way as possible, basically, "you mean a lot to us but we're having only immediate family and our wedding party attend our ceremony and reception. we'd still love to have you there to help us celebrate the week but unfortunately we could not accommodate you at the wedding itself, although we'd love for you to join us when we go "deep sea fishing-or whatever it is".

it might be a totally dumb idea but it worked for us! :)

This seems bordeline mean, but I LOVE IT!!! LOL I wish I could!!!! My FI wouldn't go for it though. Once people book (no matter who it is), he's rolling out the red carpet for them.

Stina168 · 08-25-2008, 06:31 AM

This can be so frustrating! I really didn't think I would have this problem. I assumed most of the people we know were familiar with general rules of etiquette, but apparently not! We had a "friend of the family" (and I use that term loosely b/c we see them once a year and I hardly every speak to the guy) approach my dad and ask if they could come to the wedding b/c they have 'extra miles saved up'! I was like, WTF? I cannot imagine EVER asking to be invited to someone's wedding-especially just so they can take a vacation. Some people are so rude and have no concept of what's going on. If you wanted to invite them to the wedding, you would! I'm at Iberostar too, and all the little extras are adding up to be a lot more than expected. We want it to be nice so we're paying extra for certain things. I just wish the uninvited guests would realize this! Sorry about the rant, but this makes me so mad!! haha!