HELP! How do I stop uninvited guests?

briscoecrown · 08-07-2008, 07:48 PM

I'm in the early planning stages and just recently sent out my STDs with our website address. Of course, word is getting out about our wedding.

I've had quite a few people (who I have no intention of inviting) say they want to come. They're using the wedding as an oppty to take a vacation. For example, one of my friend's mother has never been to Cancun and wants to vacation with her daughter.

Now quite frankly, I can't ban uninvited guests from staying at the resort during the time we 'happen' to be there. However, how do I deal with them trying to attend the wedding? Do I just suck it up & let them join in the fun because they're already there?

It's still another person I have to account for (i.e. OOT bag, thank you card, plate setting, etc).

JoLo908 · 08-07-2008, 07:53 PM

OMG, yeah, I have had people say they wanted to come, but I proceed to tell them it is going to be a small wedding... which I guess is a white lie... but... so weird that people take the initiative to invite themselves, right? Just like I knew a few girls who wore white to weddings... DUH... it's a nono!

meagan · 08-07-2008, 07:57 PM

I am sending out STD the end of this month! I never really thought about this type of problem.

I think the "its a small wedding" is the perfect way to go. Im definately going to use that if I need to.

Thanks! Now I feel prepared! People are so wierd that they would do things like that. They have some set!

Tracy · 08-07-2008, 08:03 PM

I think there is a perception that because the wedding is at an all inclusive resort, it doesn't matter how many people come....as everything is free. My resort is still $18.00/p.p. for dinner, and cocktail hour $6.00 p.p. for open bar...so adding people that we didnt' intend to invite can become very costly. Plus in our case, we are taking everyone out on a snorkel trip the day prior which is another $40 - so the people that are inviting themselves would actually cost us almost $70. p.p. if we didn't try to stop it. I have had many people say, oh, "so and so is going to come with me (ie, cousin, sister etc) - so they can vacation together...and they just assume no big deal to come to the wedding. I'm trying to educate everyone, but I hate to come off as cheap.

SunBride · 08-07-2008, 08:43 PM

It is a tough situation - like you said, anyone is free to spend that week at the resort!

I would tell your friend about how you want to limit the guests lists to keep it as intimate as possible and for cost reasons, ask her to tell her mom.

If her mom does come anyways, I would let her come to the wedding & reception, after all, at least you know her and you don't want any hard feelings.

People definitely don't see it the same way as they do a regular wedding. The normal rules don't apply (for example, gifts are not expected as much at DWs, also the couple has more liberty to break away from the normal wedding traditions) so even people who normally know better than to invite themselves to a regular wedding may not see anything wrong with inviting themselves along to a DW.

briscoecrown · 08-07-2008, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoLo908

OMG, yeah, I have had people say they wanted to come, but I proceed to tell them it is going to be a small wedding... which I guess is a white lie... but... so weird that people take the initiative to invite themselves, right? Just like I knew a few girls who wore white to weddings... DUH... it's a nono!

So far, I've been using the "it's a small wedding" line, but I really don't think it's been too effective. I'm going to need a stronger line (aka excuse) to put folks back in their place.... of course, without coming across too mean.

Davematthews16 · 08-07-2008, 08:49 PM

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mforbes · 08-07-2008, 08:50 PM

I am dealing with this as well- people started announcing that they would be attending the wedding when we had just started kicking around the idea of a DW! WTF?!?

briscoecrown · 08-07-2008, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tracy

I think there is a perception that because the wedding is at an all inclusive resort, it doesn't matter how many people come....as everything is free. My resort is still $18.00/p.p. for dinner, and cocktail hour $6.00 p.p. for open bar...so adding people that we didnt' intend to invite can become very costly. Plus in our case, we are taking everyone out on a snorkel trip the day prior which is another $40 - so the people that are inviting themselves would actually cost us almost $70. p.p. if we didn't try to stop it. I have had many people say, oh, "so and so is going to come with me (ie, cousin, sister etc) - so they can vacation together...and they just assume no big deal to come to the wedding. I'm trying to educate everyone, but I hate to come off as cheap.

TRACY!!! I feel your pain!! I'm at the Iberostar Pariaso Maya. I'm tallying up the same costs.

Tracy · 08-07-2008, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by briscoecrown

TRACY!!! I feel your pain!! I'm at the Iberostar Pariaso Maya. I'm tallying up the same costs.

:) - i'm at the Iberostar Paraiso Del Mar...maybe it's an Iberostar only thing... (though somehow I doubt it)