Bridesmaid Issues??

lscilley · 07-28-2008, 04:36 PM

Has anyone ever asked someone to step down from being their bridesmaid after asking them already. My one friend I asked her to be a bridesmaid and she was more than happy and her and her husband are trying to have another baby so I had a backup plan in case she was pregnant and could not travel.
But now she is asking what happens if they can't afford to come to my wedding and I was like

? I gave her over 2 yrs notice and I am paying $800.00 towards her trip. It really made me mad because I don't need anymore stress with school and wedding planning. I was almost to the point of saying that she was still invited but that maybe it would be easier on both of us if she was not in the wedding party? Do you think that is mean of me?

Has anyone else had a similar issue?

Kat81 · 07-28-2008, 04:41 PM

Aww I am sorry she is being a pain. I would just sit her down and let her know that you are doing your part for her trip but you need to know ASAP if she can make it and be in the wedding party and that if she can't figure it out within the next week maybe it would be better if you didn't depend on her for a bm. And she is still more than welcome to come. I don't think it is mean but then again I am kinda crabby....

Kits55 · 07-28-2008, 04:51 PM

gulp! i do not have this problem but i do see that something similar to could happen to one of my bridesmaids. I would be pretty mad if i had told my BM's two years ago and just now couldn't afford it. i think that 2 years is plenty enough time to save up for a DW, especially since you are helping her out a lot! i would just tell her up front that you need to know ASAP for planning purposes. Let her know that you still want her to be there but present it as a win-win situation to her. were you only helping out with the $800.00 because she's in your party or are you helping out with that much no matter what?

Hartyt509 · 07-28-2008, 04:52 PM

I agree with Kat but I'd probably be way too harsh lol

I'd say look we are giving you a fortune to come so if you aren't I can use that money somewhere else!

Kelly C · 07-28-2008, 04:56 PM

I agree with kat also. You gave her enough notice. She needs to return the favor. I did have two girls I oringinally asked that have backed out because of money.

evtalbot · 07-28-2008, 05:03 PM

Wow, that's tough. I agree that if she knew you were getting married 2 years in advance that she had plenty of time to save up for the trip... especially if you are covering $800 worth of expenses!!! (which is EXTREMELY generous, by the way!) I'd say give her a deadline of 1-2 weeks to give you an answer and let her know after that you will have to choose someone else!

lscilley · 07-28-2008, 05:12 PM

Thanks girls that's what I was thinking. I was paying $800 towards each of my girls trips I only had 2 but we will see how it goes and I may be down to one in a few weeks.

lauren · 07-28-2008, 06:08 PM

i'd tell her asap that you're concerned and that you could use the $ elsewhere...but that you don't need an answer for a few weeks...that way she knows that you're serious, and she really starts thinking about it.

k_8ie · 07-29-2008, 07:28 AM

My maid of honor keeps questioning the price that the TA gives me. I told the girls in advance that it would prob be around 1200 and 1500. This was last Nov 2007. We're getting married in January 2009, and she keeps offering me help finding better prices. It's a little insulting seeing as that's all I do!!!!!!!!! Then she tells me a girl from work is going for $800 tx in end of August, only to find out she had a connection at Air Canada.

I told her straight up, that if she couldn't afford it I would never hold it against her. So she tells me that she'll be there for sure, just wanted to offer me help.

Yeah, ok!

Maeghan · 07-29-2008, 07:47 AM

I have just found myself in a similar situation, where i had to ask one of my BM's to step down. She was creating so many issues and extra stress, and i could only imagine how much more stress she would have caused if i didnt ask her to step down. She was a total drama queen about it and after i told her she was no longer in the wedding she went and ordered her BM dress anyways and figured since she ordered the dress she had to be in the wedding...WRONG!! at the end of the day, if your BM is a true friend she will understand, and be more than happy to do whatever you need to make your wedding day amazing and stress free