I feel so isolated and depressed

KirstenRN6 · 07-20-2008, 02:25 PM

I'm so sorry you are feeling so sad. Although I don't know what it feels like to lose a parent, I can olny imagine that the pain could be unbearable at times. When I am feeling sad, I cling to a verse on Philippians....."The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." I don't know your beliefs, but I do know that you are not alone.

JaimeLynne · 07-20-2008, 02:26 PM

I am so sorry to hear all of this. I had no idea that you were going through all of this on top of dealing with the hypothyroidism! I think we are a lot alike, because I have been dealing with a lot of the same issues lately. I have felt very alone and isolated. I finally confided in my friend and she was able to help me see that overall I was being too hard on myself and everyone else around me. Since then (well, when I have the energy!) I've tried to reach out to my friends more. It has really helped. I had no idea that I had so many people (including all the wonderful ppl on here!) pulling for me.

I am so sorry about your (emotional) pain. You sound like a very strong person trying to deal with all this cr@p on your own, but we all need help sometimes. If you can, try to forgive those who have hurt you. Doesn't mean you have to forget, just forgive. In the end it will help you a lot. Easier said than done, I know because right now I am at odds with both of my sisters and I haven't really been able to truly forgive one of them yet.

Would it be possible to see a therapist who you can talk to about everything? If you do, just make sure that y'all "click" so that you feel comfortable sharing these things with her.

As for FI, I think he is probably just feeling overwhelmed right now which I know sucks for you. You have a lot going on and I'm sure he has no idea what to say or do to make it all go away. It does sound like you've got a good guy there tho, so that's a plus. Meanwhile, I would keep doing what you're doing (like getting out to walk). And of course, definitely feel free to talk to us! This board is full of so much warmth and people who truly want to listen and help...

Hugs to you!!!!

Dbld78 · 07-20-2008, 02:26 PM

I'm sorry for your loss...

I haven't lost anyone close to me but Tim lost his mother 14 years ago and he's always very supportive of others who have suffered the same loss. I on the other hand do know A LOT about depression, have you thought about talking with a therapist? It could help HUGE, bereavement counseling does help.

I am also having some serious depression issues to right now too and that's why I opened the thread. Hang in there and take it day by day. Your FI may be distancing himself from the situation because he doesn't know what to say or do. It's hard to be there for someone when you don't know how they are feeling. I have a hard time asking Tim questions about his mom because I'm not sure how to go about it. Even though we've been together for 10+ years I didn't know her...

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat privately... I can maybe lend you some support during your depression...

Yari · 07-20-2008, 02:57 PM

I hope you start to feel better soon!

ErinB · 07-20-2008, 03:25 PM

I'm so sorry. I know kind of how you feel. My grandmother, to whom I was very close, died 4 years ago on Friday. SHe had been very ill and I was her primary care giver. Even when you know it is coming, it doesn't soften the blow. I can only imagine how it feels to have your father taken so suddenly.

I wish I had a magic answer to make it feel better, but the honest truth is that it won't. You need to know that it is ok to be upset and cry and do whatever it is that YOU need to do for you.

I'm guessing that your friends and FI just don't know how to handle the situation. My now husband had no clue how to be around me. I was really angry with him for that. He's a "fixer" and when he couldn't fix me, he withdrew. His friend who is doing so well might not be. Some people put on a show or it doesn't hit them for awhile. I think it took me about 2 weeks to really come to grips with the situation, I was trying to be strong for everyone else.

I would suggest finding support somewhere. A priest, a bereavement counselor, an online group, anything. It usually helps me to write a letter when I'm upset. I usually don't send them, but it helps me express and process what I'm feeling. Write to your dad and tell him what you feel, whatever that may be - hurt, angry, alone, sad... Know that it will take a while to get better, but it will get better. If you have to take things one hour at a time or one day at a time, do.

Know that we will be here for you in any way we can. If there is anything I can do please PM me. My heart goes out to you. *Big Hug*

Kat81 · 07-20-2008, 03:35 PM

I'm so sorry that you are feeling so bad. Is there a way you can talk to someone to help you through these feelings. Maybe your Mom and you could go together? Remember, we are all here for you. As for your FI, it does sound like he is trying to get you to go out, maybe he is just scared because he doesn't know what to do. Maybe talk to him about it and tell him what you need him to do. He sounds like a great guy, he may just need some help to help you.

Dez921714 · 07-20-2008, 04:02 PM

***BIG HUG***

I'm sorry you're going through all of this right now, it'll get better...eventually.

I agree with everyone else in that you need to talk to someone ASAP...a counselor, social worker or psycholigist. It won't happen over night and you might need some kind of med to help get you out of the funk you're in, but you're on your way. Consider confiding to us here your first step :)

As for FI...I know it's hard, but I also know how my FI is. He's great with other people and helping them get through things and stuff like that, but when it comes to me he can't even handle the minimal depression I get with PMS! I honestly think it scares him to see me in a state like that...especially when I'm usually the one holding him together, so if it seems like I'm falling apart, he can't handle being around me, seeing it or even trying to help me. He doesn't realize that he ends up just making it worse. I know that that wasn't any kind of advice, but could your FI be like mine in that sese?

I've found so much support on this forum, in more areas than wedding planning. It's a great place to vent, cry and get outside opinions. I know that at least I would never judge your FI because you are having issues (loard knows the issues FI and I had a few weeks ago...I put off posting about it, but was so glad when I did. It ended up being a very LONG thread and I'm sure a lot of people wonder why I'm still even with him...) but anyway, my point it, you're with FI for a reason and this is just a rough patch, you'll get through it...right now, concentrate of fixing you if you can.

We're here for you!!!!

becks · 07-20-2008, 04:19 PM

I'm so very sorry for your loss, and that you're going thru such a difficult time. We are all here to listen and support you whenever you need.

Others have said it, and I want to encourage you to find a counselor to talk with. Does your workplace have an employee assistance office? They will frequently be able to identify a professional in your area that they can recommend.

A professional will really be able to help you get your hands around your pain and frustration - not only over the loss of your father, but also with your mom, your siblings and your friends.

I'm sure every one of those people is there to support you, but probably doesn't know quite how to reach out to you in a meaninful way.

And have faith in your FI. He's probably not sure how to help you get thru this either. I'm certain he loves you and only wants you to be happy and healthy again.

Keep talking with us anytime you want. Big hugs!!