It's strange...

cmmdee · 06-06-2008, 06:54 AM

I've been engaged for 1.5 year and since the beginning we decided on a DW. Since the begining, I have had a girlfriend (for years now), who said she was going to come, no matter what, would talk about it every single day.
Well, ever since I sent out the save the date, months ago, she has been seemingly avoiding me. It's the weirdest thing. I will call her or invite her out and she won't even respond to me. It's SO bizarre. Then I of course, sent her the invitation to the wedding, and no RSVP, nada. Two weeks ago I emailed her, asking her to please give me a heads up cause I need a final head count, now that I'm just days away and need to get a list to my wedding coordinator, and she HASN'T EVEN RESPONDED.
I guess I'm just upset that she's completely blown me off. I can understand if she can't come, but why the blow off. I have other friends that told me straight up they're not coming. I appreciate honesty. But why this fuckery? This avoiding people? I absolutely abhor when people blow me off. It is so beyond rude!
Why do you guys these this is/why she's doing this?
I would never do this to her.

Christine · 06-06-2008, 06:58 AM

I don't get it either, but we were getting the run around from most of our friends for quite a while. My BM's were even delaying their dress orders and it was so frustrating, I kept asking and they would say oh we're going tomorrow to order it...a week later the same story.
I think it all boils down to the fact that they feel guilty and don't know how to deal with it.

BeckyN · 06-06-2008, 07:35 AM

I have some friends in similar situations as well. I have come to the conclusion that after giving their word they would be there no matter what and being so excited that they could come... now that (for whatever reason) they are unable to attend they feel guilty and don't know how to tell us. Not that its right... but its just that they don't want to dissapoint us. Sadly, they don't realize that the avoidance and putting off makes it that much worse/frustrating/difficult.

twinkletoes · 06-06-2008, 07:51 AM

I agree with Christine and Becky. I think it boils down to them feeling guilty as hell for not being able to go even though they promised to. And in the end, I guess they dont want to hurt you. However, they dont seem to understand that it makes you more frustrated that they are ignoring you instead of just giving you a solid answer. I've been through a similar situation so I know how you must be feeling. Unfortanely, at this point I would just count her as a no.

But on a side note, lol, I am totally going to have to start using this phrase!

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmmdee

But why this fuckery?

KLC77 · 06-06-2008, 08:10 AM

That stinks. She is probably feeling guilty, but not responding at all is really immature. She could have at least sent you an email. I'm sorry you have to deal with that...

lucy106 · 06-06-2008, 08:55 AM

First of all, I love your word "fuckery", nice!!

Second, your "friend" sucks. Could she be jealous? Could she be embarrassed she cant afford it after all of her talking about it? Who knows but the fact of the matter is she is being immature and rude. Unfortunately she has put you in a position that you need to confront her on it and thats not fair to you. I would just call her and sounds like you will get her voicemail but say you dont know why she is acting like this you thought you were great friends and at this point you just need to know if she is coming or not. So sorry your "friend" is being a poop!

Yari · 06-06-2008, 08:58 AM

That just stinks! Something is up with her, but just remember it is not YOU. For some reason she is having issues and it is too bad she can't be honest with you. I think it's time to for some spring cleaning and leave the garbage on the curb.

BTW, love the work fuckery!

STACEY · 06-06-2008, 10:11 AM

Big hug. I am soo sorry that you are going through this. Unfortunatly it seems that weddings, and espcially DW bring out the worst in some people. I am sorry that she is not going to be able to be there for you.

ErinB · 06-06-2008, 10:18 AM

So, "fuckery" is the owrd of the day! I LOVE it and will begin using it immediately.

My BM did the same exact thing to me, backed out less than a month before the wedding.

You just have to be the bigger person and be comfortable knowing that those who truly want to be there will find a way to get there.

I agree that I think it is a combination of gulit and embarrassment and she doesn't know how to deal with it. Then, I'm thinking in her head she is trying to turn it around on me, like it's my fault for having such an expensive wedding. Then, the avoidance goes on for so long, that they don't know how to start talking to you again.

Hartyt509 · 06-06-2008, 12:32 PM

I don't know why they do it either -mine has just done the same thing to me - drives me up the wall so I just through right screw her and basically told her so lol

Just don't contact her and see what happens she'll come crawling back mine has started to but I'm ignoring her because I'm a child lmao