The Memory Keeper's Daughter BC Discussion #3

[Birdie07]

I think everyone is near done or already done. So if you're ready to discuss then go ahead. It was LadyCheese's book suggestion so if she has any book discussion question's she can post them here. Personally, I liked the book. I was a teachers aide in a Special ed class for 5 years and so it kind hit home how their is a certain stigma around children with disabilities.

 

I was reading some questions on this book and it asked when it would be right to hide something from your family. I was wondering what you guys thought on that:

The secret that David keeps is enormous and ultimately terribly destructive to himself and his family. Can you imagine a circumstance when it might be the right choice to shield those closest to you from the truth?

Ok start discussin...

and if anyone has a new suggestion for the next book please pm me so we can pick a new book!

[Yari]

I really enjoyed this book. I felt it was a little slow in the beginning, but was able to pick up midway through.

 

I can not imagine keeping that type of secret. It saddens me that he never told Norah the truth. I was completely shocked by his sudden death and lack of closure.

 

I liked reading about the interactions between Paul and Phoebe. I thought it was very sweet.

 

It upset me that David never comforted Norah about her affair in Aruba...they just let is slide.

 

I was confused about Rosemary and David's interest in her. I know it was a romantic relationship, but it struck me as odd.

[jajajaja]

I think David never confronted Nora about her affair because he felt so guilty about his own wrong doing.

 

I agree that there was a lack of closure with his sudden death. I can somewhat understand why he lied- he did it for his love for Nora and he didn't want her to face the same sadness his family did with his sick sister.

 

At the time, I don't think he ever realized it would be worse to have her believe she lost the baby. It's hard to remember that this was in the '50s and they probably didn't know how capable children of down syndrome are. As David said, he believed the child would live a short, painful life. He later realized how wrong he was, but I believe he was in too big of a hole at that point.

 

The book doesn't offer much sympathy for David. Obviously, I can kind of empathize with him although I clearly think he was wrong. At the same time, it's hard to not feel for the guy when he did what he did for love. He loved his wife and didn't want to see her hurt.

[Yari]

David definitely loved Norah and Paul. It saddens me that Paul never felt his love. I thought it was interesting how Norah was shocked at how many people came to David's funeral.

[jajajaja]

I think this is one aspect where the movie differed from the book. Paul eventually understood his father and seemed to have a little more compassion in the movie.

 

Norah acts a bit self righteous if you ask me. Sure her husband messed up- BIG TIME. However, she didn't know that til after the fact. She cheated on him all the time and she really didn't have justification for it until after his death. (Not that I think cheating is ever okay). At some point, I think Norah really needed to be slapped silly. She lost a child which is probably never easy to deal with. But hello- she had another baby that needed to be cared for. You would think that she would mourn the loss of her baby and then get it together for her other one.

[Yari]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LC_Rachel Norah acts a bit self righteous if you ask me. Sure her husband messed up- BIG TIME. However, she didn't know that til after the fact. She cheated on him all the time and she really didn't have justification for it until after his death. (Not that I think cheating is ever okay). At some point, I think Norah really needed to be slapped silly. She lost a child which is probably never easy to deal with. But hello- she had another baby that needed to be cared for. You would think that she would mourn the loss of her baby and then get it together for her other one.

I agree with this completely! She started to get on my nerves. I didn't like the way she acted all holier than though. David really tried to help her and he loved her.

[nikkianddean]

This is so hard to call. While honesty is the easiest policy, it may not always seem like the best one. I say the easiest, because telling the truth negates any uncomfortable explanations later on down the line and the guilt of keeping a secret. David's secret ultimately costs him everything. He loses everything including the family he thought he worked so hard to "protect." I have learned that the best poilicy is just to be open and honest from the start in all family matters. It takes a little finesse though....

[*JillD*]

My stupid book still has not come

 

I'll join in this discussion late once I read it!

[yamille]

Can I join? I read the book a while ago though.. so it's not super fresh in my mind but I remember loving it. I agree that Norah needed to be slapped silly in the beginning of the book. I mean mourning the loss of a child must be incredibly difficult BUT... she completely lost touch with David and the affairs were never right to begin with. I actually felt bad for him. Having said that- I also can't believe that he gave away the baby!!!! Two wrongs still don't make a right and the non-closure ending of the book was hard for me to deal with.

[Heidi]

I really liked this book. I loved it from the beginning and didn't LOVE it by the end. Still good though!

 

Coming from a family who had several closely guarded secrets, I can UNDERSTAND what David was trying to do, and why he did it. But it was so apparent that each step he took to 'protect' his family just drew them further and further apart.

 

I have lots more to say - but before I go much further I'm interested in what other people are going to bring up!