FI venting..

coming together · 10-11-2007, 11:23 AM

I hope I am not alone here, but does anyone else have trouble getting your man to do things around the house?? I am working two jobs right now which means I work from 7am-4pm (M-F) and 430pm-10pm (sometime 'til 1am) M, T, W, Friday, and then (3pm-11pm, sometimes 1am) on Saturday's. Needless to say it is hard for me to get everything done around the house. Well, my FI works M-F 7am-430pm. He is in school to get his master's which is on Monday nights. Other than that he doesn't have any commiments. Why is it that he doesn't see that things need to be done around the house?? Laundry, dishwasher loaded or unloaded, groceries to be bought, back yard maintained, dog and cat groomed. I could go on and on.. My friends say "welcome to men". He is getting a little better, since I bitched him out after an exhausting week, but I don't want to have to tell him what to do my whole life.. Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lizz · 10-11-2007, 11:27 AM

My FI is the exact same way, so I'm no help, but wanted you to know that I understand! I used to be a total clean freak, but realized that it would break us up if I continued to be so crazy about it when he is such a slob. I still clean, but I've learned to overlook a lot of things like dishes in the sink for a night or laundry not put away for a few days.
Our house is getting appraised tomorrow because we're selling it. I have no time to clean it after work because I have a rehearsal for a wedding I'm in this weekend. I swear, I will flip if the house is not somewhat straightened up when I get home tonight!

MsShelley · 10-11-2007, 11:35 AM

yeah mine too.... no help here... I have been working like crazy I worked 120 hours the last 2 weeks... but my grass is up to me knees, my sink is full of dishes, laundry needs to be done. He gets off work everyday at 5:30 and then goes and rides his 4 wheeler or whatever else he wants... If anyone figures out how to deal, share! lol

coming together · 10-11-2007, 11:43 AM

Thanks girls.. I am glad I am not alone!!!!!!!!!!!

KellyandMatt08 · 10-11-2007, 11:50 AM

Totally not alone!! They seem to have no initiative to do anything, I usually have nag to get something done.

Christa · 10-11-2007, 11:53 AM

You are going to hate me - but in our relationship, hubby is the clean freak. He is all about the kitchen & the bathroom. Unfortunately, it stops there. He is a piler - piles of mail, piles of clothes, piles of ?? - I hate that! So, then add a 16 year old boy to that, and I pretty much go insane every day. I guess we're all in the same situation to some degree.

jlink78 · 10-11-2007, 12:00 PM

I'm in the same boat ladies...my sympathies are with you! I have to say that he's great with maintaining the outside of the house but once he steps through that door all hell breaks loose. Like Liz I used to be a clean freak but once we moved in together I learned that I had to chill out or we'd never make it. I'm much better now but I still have my days when I come home and freak out. Seems to be once a month and correlates to PMSing! Is there really a need to have 3 pairs of shoes in the den

It's not like he has 6 feet!

MikkiStreak · 10-11-2007, 12:13 PM

I can't complain at all. FI is messy, but he doesn't mind cleaning. Seriously, he cleans the bathroom every weekend, including scrubbing the toilet. We have a pretty even split on duties: if I cook, he cleans dishes. If I wash laundry and hang clothes, he folds the whites/socks. I clean kitchen and living area, he cleans bathroom and bedrooms. He maintains the the vehicles, I do the finances. etc... He's a good guy, and he's not gay! :)

starfish kate · 10-11-2007, 12:15 PM

Mike will help, but on his own time. I have to have everything cleaned up after dinner before I can sit down and relax. If I didn't do it, he'd wait until the next night before we cook dinner to clean up the previous night's dishes. He's also particular about some things, but others he's completely oblivious.

Also, I finally decided to have someone come in and clean every other week. I was to the point that I was spending an entire day cleaning and stressing about it. Mike would say "don't worry about it" but the house won't clean itself! I do stuff in between cleanings but I don't spend a whole day doing it anymore. It is the best investment I've ever made!

carly · 10-11-2007, 12:21 PM

Matt is good in some ways and bad in others. I am not the cleanest person, but I don't leave a trail of filth (mess) behind me. I hate to clean, but I also can't stand a mess. Matt is pretty good with the "if I cook, he cleans" and vice versa. But I rarely cook and that is fine with me! But normal upkeep? I think he has cleaned the bathroom twice since I moved in with him last September. and i do all the straightening. He is a better cleaner, like getting down and scrubbing, but I am way better at keeping things neat. PITA, but what can you do?